


When Oceans Rise

by ElenyasBlood



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - fisherman and merman, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fairy Tale Elements, Fisherman Jensen, M/M, Protective Jensen, Psychological Trauma, merman Jared
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-09 06:43:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1972794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElenyasBlood/pseuds/ElenyasBlood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen Ackles is married to the sea, and always had been. His breath is salt and his touch like the chaste kiss of a thousand gurgling waves. He always thought he knew everything about the ocean and the steady ebb and flow of the tides that cradled the little fishing boats he worked on throughout the years. That is until one fateful spring night, when he finds himself faced with a beautiful merman in his net— and makes a decision that is going to change his life forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jensen watched the horizon with a frown as his eyes skimmed through the thick layers of clouds balling against the clear blue. The day on the sea had been warm and sunny, the bright light distracting as it tickled the bare skin at the nape of the fisherman's neck.

“Ackles.” A familiar voice made Jensen spin on his heels. “We're gonna do another round, move ya pretty ass and give me a hand, will ya?”

Jensen had to stifle the moan that threatened to form in the back of his throat before he left his spot at the guard rail and joined his colleague on the quarterdeck of the rather small fishing boat.

“Sun's already setting, dude,” he objected as soon as he was close enough for the other man to hear him. “Think it's wise to give it another shot?”

Tom gave a light shrug. “I dunno, man, wasn't my idea.” His teeth glistened in the golden light and Jensen found himself gaping for a few seconds before tearing his attention away and out to the water again. Tiny waves gurgled against the hull and sea gulls played in the distance, croaking and fighting over a fish. It would have been almost peaceful if it hadn't been for the threatening wall of lead gray clouds looming over them, pushing closer with every passing second.

“That's not a good idea, man. Those spring storms can be pretty-”

A man with scruffy cheeks and bulky shoulders interrupted the conversation with a sharp slap against the back of Tom's head, sending the young man reeling. “'S Captain's orders and you two idiots better do what you're told.”

“Yeah, but Jensen's right, Jeff,” Tom huffed while rubbing the painful spot on his head left by Jeffrey's hand. “We could be-”

“Can it, boy. Captain said we're gonna go for another catch and that's exactly what we're gonna do,” Jeffrey replied, starting to gather the nets while doing so. “And if you still wanna have work next month you better keep your mouth shut next time. _Both of you_.”

Jensen caught a glimpse of Tom rolling his eyes at the words, but both men kept quiet for once and begrudgingly went to work. Somewhere beneath their feet the engine of the peacefully floating boat kicked to life and Jensen felt a jolt of anticipation rush down his spine at the familiar sound. Their voices grew loud and after less than a minute the quarterdeck bustled with fishermen, busying themselves with preparing nets, checking buoys and laughing about jokes so filthy they made the tips of Jensen's ears burn.

“Ackles, check the ship's screw!” someone yelled and Jensen had no choice but to follow the roughly barked order, giving his friend an apologetic smile before making his way to the back of the barge. Jensen was halfway to the screw as the boat started to move, a tiny tremor running though the heavy hull before it started to plow stoically through the restless sea. The wind came up as Jensen bent over the guard rail, eyes searching for something that might hinder the giant steel screw but were greeted with nothing but the endless, green depths of the wavering ocean.

“All clear!” Jensen shouted over the tugging thud-thud of the engine and gave the man just around the corner a thumbs-up before deciding to stay for another minute. They wouldn't miss him on deck with the older fishermen already a well-rehearsed team and not giving two shits about the two fresh faces on board. The men were rough and unabashed and Jensen had decided to like them, though that feeling didn't seem to be mutual. But now and then it was good to have some time alone, just him and the open sea and a good smoke under the azure, spring sky.

Fingering a cigarette out of his pockets and lighting it, Jensen took a deep inhale as he leaned against the rail, eyes searching the horizon again. It was his first trip of the year and he'd only gotten the job because of Jeffrey and his connections and _god_ , he had missed this: the sun, the salty breeze, the gentle up and down bobbing of the boat and the rough-spun ropes between his fingers. He missed working with his hands and spending his days under an open sky, fresh air in his lungs and salt on his lips. Truly, after being caged in the cramped office of Danneel's news agency during the winter, it had felt like coming home when he boarded the ship three days ago.

Jensen was made for the sea and he had known it since he was a little boy. Born during a humid spring night in their little house by the beach, the waves were first to sing him to sleep at night, woven with the soft voice of his mother. They told him how to move in the water when he was barely four years old, murmured under his window when he woke from pain-fueled nightmares and welcomed him home after the long days in school when he grew older. He remembered the soothing embrace of the ocean cradling him when he fell gravely ill at the age of ten and could still feel the shushing kiss of cold when he had his first hangover and spent the day at the beach, arms and legs hanging from their dock and face buried in the salt-drenched wood. It was the ocean that momentarily distracted him from the aching void inside his chest when his grandma died and he'd never forget his first kiss down by the stony bay, under a moonlit night sky, heart fluttering beneath his ribcage and feet grazing the cool waters. The sea was his home, his shelter, and whatever turn his life had taken, he always felt drawn to it like moth to a distant moon.

The men were already in their positions when Jensen returned to the quarterdeck. Looking for Tom, he strutted past the idly chatting sailors and reached his friend just in time to feel the boat slow down, allowing them to drop the few dragnets into the water with a loud chop and then wait for the signal to let down the rest.

“Jeffrey thinks you're pretty,” Tom began bluntly as soon as he spotted Jensen on the rail.

Jensen felt his brows furrow in confusion.

“That's not-- Tom, _for fuck's sake_! That's not what I said, you jackass,” Jeffrey protested and smacked the back of the man's head again, a little blush creeping up his cheeks.

Tom snorted. “You literally said-” Tom dropped his voice a few octaves deeper to comically mimic Jeffrey's gruff rumble- “That boy's way too pretty to work so far away from his wife during summer.”

Jeffrey was about to object again, but Jensen just shrugged, biting his lip in an attempt to stifle the laugh that gathered in his throat as he witnessed Tom's poor imitation of the fisherman. “'S alright, Jeff. I'm not married... anymore.”

“She dumped him because Jensen's pretty ass is married to the sea,” Tom cackled, ignoring Jensen's annoyed sigh.

Jeffrey looked like he was entertaining the thought of landing another blow on the young man's head, but decided against it in favor of shooting Jensen a pitying glance. “Sorry, man,” he rumbled. “But I get what you mean. 'S hard to love a woman when you-”

“Oh god, what is it I've brought myself into here?” Tom interrupted and rolled his eyes so hard Jensen expected them to pop out of their sockets at any second. “I thought this was a fisher boat but apparently it's a support-group for failed marriages. You guys need a moment together?”

“You're just jealous because you never made it farther than into a woman's panties,” Jensen replied as soon his friend was finished.

Jeffrey rasped a laugh. “'S because he's nothing but a pretty face,”

“Oh, now I'm pretty, too? Slow down big boy, you sure you can take us both?”

Neither Jensen nor Jeffrey dignified that with an actual response but instead kept working in companionable silence. The boat came to a sudden halt a few minutes later and after they'd dropped the nets into the water there was nothing else to do but wait.

 ♦ 

They spent the rest of the evening gambling below deck. After practically inhaling their meager dinner -sardines in oil, stale bread and a few salted pickles- while they leaned against the rail, the clouds had finally opened to release a sheer flash flood of rain onto the boat, soaking the fishermen and banishing them into the muggy warmth of their cabins. Now a few of them were busy playing dice, others tossed cards onto the table and Jensen had his nose buried in one of his books. The quick, cold shower of rain had turned into a full-blown thunderstorm within minutes and momentarily the boat was tossed around by the waves, the hull bucking like a young stallion and the wood groaning under the leaden weight of the water that poured down relentlessly. Lightning flashed across the horizon, followed by rolling thunder of such deafening intensity it had the earth shaking to its very foundations and left the fisherman no choice but to wait out the apocalyptic conditions.

Despite the weather, the atmosphere under deck was cheery and aside from the usual bantering the men's spirits were high and their jokes good-natured. Jeffrey and his friends were just about to give Tom another lesson in Crazy Eights when the door was pushed open and the Captain strolled in, his face wet with rain.

“Get to work, mates,” he uttered in his gruff voice, eyes squinting against the warm, yellow light of the oil lamps. “Pull everything in, we're leaving at dawn.”

And just like that their idleness was interrupted and immediately changed into bustling activity as they put on their slickers and heavy boots before spilling out into the night.

The rain poured down heavy on Jensen's shoulders as he stepped out, hastily pulling up his hood and following the trail of dirty footsteps his colleagues had left on the wet planks. The wind was sharp, howling in the grates of the nearby cliffs and sending shivers down the fisherman's back. The sky had turned pitch black and only the flashing lightning revealed the path in front of Jensen as he trudged to where the others were already busy pulling in the catch. The ground swayed unsteadily, tiny whirlpools gurgling along the hull, sucking the boat from one side to the other, and it took Jensen a moment until he reached his position. Pushing past Tom, he clutched the rail, ready to lend Jeffrey a hand at the crank.

“Keep a close hold, son,” Jeffrey yelled over the howling storm, his face and hair already soaked with the waves' water, gushing up and over the rail, turning the deck into a dangerous death trap. Jensen's face was determined when he nodded while his fingers scrambled for purchase against the slippery wood. The ropes moaned under the heavy weight of the catch as Jensen slowly started to spin the crank, inching the net higher and higher, pulling it out of the water and above their heads, where it stayed for a couple of breathless heartbeats.

Spilling water on the deck, the net dangled from the hook, a squirming mass inside. Fish, crabs and little squids crawled over one another as they desperately tried to get back into the stormy sea, gaping for precious oxygen to fill their gills. The sight both delighted and saddened Jensen and he felt guilt boiling up inside his chest. It had always felt wrong to him to kill creatures of the sea just for the sole purpose of making money. But he had to live off something and a good catch meant good money-- no matter how much he pitied the silvery mass of writhing bodies inside the net.

“Lower it down!” a voice ordered from somewhere and Jensen followed, changing the cranks and spinning again, hands against cool metal and eyes focused on the catch. Just a few more inches and one of the fisherman stepped underneath the net, unhooking the sharp clasps and releasing a flood of sea creatures onto the slippery deck.

It took Jensen exactly three seconds to realize that something was profoundly wrong with the scene unwinding in front of his eyes. Gasping for air, fingers still wrapped around the rusty metal, and his brain rattling inside his skull, he gaped at the man on top of the piled up fish and _what the fuck? Was this a fucking joke_? That thing wasn't even a man but-- could this be?

He was tall, probably taller than any of the men currently forming a circle around him. His hair was wet, of course, because they just had pulled him out of the fucking ocean, and clung to his forehead, cascading down his shoulders in soft, chestnut colored waves. His eyes were wide in terror and the look on his face was panic-stricken, his soft lips shaped to form a perfect O. Arms flailing out wide and broad chest heaving under the effort to keep breathing, he tried to hold on to something but failed as he grabbed nothing but fistfuls of dying fish. His stomach was taut and f _uck, this couldn't be true_. Jensen must have been dreaming because this guy didn't have legs _but a fucking fishtail._ Like a freaking mermaid! It was long and thick, covered in opalescent scales and crested by an almost feathery rim around the man's waist. The tail fin fanned wide as it hit the floor with a loud thud, the sound ripping the surrounding crowd out of their trance and suddenly everything was happening too fast.

Voices became loud against the thunder, boots scraped across the wooden floor and men surged forward, sharp metal hooks in their hands and the look of sheer horror on their faces almost matching the terror in the creature's eyes. “Get him!” the screamed, “Kill it!” yelled another and a few of the men tripped over themselves as they tried to make it to the... _merman_. Their eyes were wild in the swaying, yellow light of the boat's oil lamps and Jensen could feel dread rise in his throat. This wasn't right; they had no right to lay hands on such a majestic creature. He was of rare beauty, even with his face painted in terror, and everything about him seemed new, exotic, foreign and yet so strangely familiar to Jensen.

“Step back all of you!” It was the Captain's voice which broke through the chaos, interrupting Jensen's train of thought and the fishermen in their attempted murder. “Get the fuck off _it_ , you stupid blockheads.” he barked again before stepping into the light, carrying a sharp hook himself.

“But Captain, that's a fucking freak of nature!”

“It'll curse us!”

“It will sink the ship; we all know the stories!” objected the sailors, but the bulky man paid them no heed. His voice was gruff and resolute when it spoke over the trashing thunder.

“ _It_ won't do any of that, right?” The Captain now addressed the creature himself. He didn't react. His flailing movements had become more desperate at the sight of the sharp hooks in the men's hands and still he tried to drag his body away from the crowd, his tail hitting the planks in a steady thud-thud-thud as he made sharp hissing and gurgling noises in his throat. He'd already ripped the soft flesh around his nails open as he scrambled for purchase against the rough wood and a thin, violet trail of sticky blood leaked from the wounds.

“We can't trust _it_!” Jeffrey bellowed, but the Captain's voice spoke over him.

“This is a merman and _it_ 's more valuable than all your sorry lives combined,” he explained and gestured towards the frantically moving creature, his eyes raking over the tall form. “We're gonna take _it_ with us. Welling, Morgan, Harris and Cox, you take _it_ by the tail. Bane and Lewis, you go for _its_ arms. I'm gonna take the head.”

“But what if _it_ calls for his siren-friends?” A timid voice asked as more sailors pushed into the circle, watching, gaping, their eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

“Yeah, we can't take _it_ with us. We should kill the mutant now.”

“It's a merman, not a siren, you idiots.” the Captain growled again and from the way he clenched his jaw, everyone could see that he was about to lose his temper. “Now go and finish the nets while we bring the... _thing_ below deck!”

There was a wave of murmured protest, but in the end everyone followed their orders. As the crowd descended, a group of fishermen, including Jensen's friend Tom, stepped forward and the creature's movements sped up again, becoming furious. His hands balled into fists and with his teeth bared, he spat hissing noises towards the moving men. His throat worked frantically and his eyes sputtered fire and embers against the approaching crowd-- but it was all for nothing as three men grabbed his tail and another two got hold of his hands. The Captain's grip was vice-like and brutal when it found purchase in the merman's silky hair and together they started dragging the creature away and out of Jensen's line of sight.

Jensen found himself frozen to the spot, as he had been during the whole conversation. Heart racing a thousand miles per hour in his chest, hands balled into hard fists, he stood against the rail, the pouring rain forgotten and his throat clogged with bile. That wasn't right, none of what happened was right. The creature, the _merman_ , he didn't belong on the boat, shouldn’t have been in the net in the first place. He shouldn't be called a mutant or a monster. He shouldn't be forced to listen to those scum call him a freak-- and most of all he shouldn't be their prisoner. He was a living creature, a memory of a long forgotten world, barely more than a shadow that haunted the sailors' dreams at night and he should stay there, buried in the depths of the ocean, far away from pointy metal hooks and greedy fingers.

“Ackles!” A voice sharp as a whip stopped Jensen's train of thought. “Pull your head out of your ass and give me a hand, will ya?”

Jensen winced, surprised that his body was capable of such a petty thing as movement, and followed the barked order without giving it a second thought. Stepping around the corner, he saw Harris kick the door to the storage room open and Jensen caught another glimpse of the writhing, hissing merman, trapped between too many hands. He was whining now, a low, pleading moan in the back of his throat, and the last thing Jensen could see was a pair of blank eyes, wide with horror and streaked with salty moisture.

 ♦ 

Jensen didn't even bother to join the rest of the crew after they had finished their work. With the catch securely stashed in the giant freezing chamber and the deck cleaned from every trace of fish, shells and crabs, he immediately went for his cabin, not even biding Tom good night.

His mind was still reeling, head spinning from what he'd seen two hours ago and with every breath he took he felt a leaden fist crush his heart, turning it into bloody mush. His limbs shook violently when he peeled his body out of the slickers and somehow he knew it had nothing to do with sharp breeze and cold rain.

“Shit, Ackles,” he whispered into the dark as he dropped himself onto the hard, narrow bunk bed. His hands came up to scrub his face in an attempt to clear his foggy mind, but no such thing happened and with his mind buzzing and his heart racing, hurtling, hightailing beneath his too tight ribcage he continued to stare at the ceiling while the ocean cradled the boat in its unsteady arms.

It was long after midnight when Jensen finally decided that something had to be done. He'd spent the last few hours of his life contemplating, thinking so hard he was sure to hear the gears grinding inside his skull. He had tried to talk himself out of the misery, had focused so hard on sleeping that he got a headache from it. He had tried to distract himself by thinking about sex with Danneel and that one time with Tom in high school, had pulled at his cock almost violently in an attempt to stroke it awake but without success. He'd cursed and moaned, had yelled into his pillow and finally had given up.

Now his thoughts were spinning like a merry-go-round again, but this time they didn't blow out into nothingness, but formed an actual plan in his head. _Get up, go to storage, free the merman, return to your bed, don't get caught, sleep._

Pretty simple. And given the history of men, the simplest plans had always been the best ones.

As he laced his boots, Jensen tried not to dwell on the fact that he didn't have an actual clue how to get the mer out of the fish tank and into the ocean without scaring the crap out of him. There was no room for doubt right now-- and time was running out. Grabbing his jacket and an oil lamp, Jensen left his cabin and was glad to find the other fishermen already fast asleep, their snoring deafening even through the thick wooden walls.

The thunderstorm had somewhat diminished throughout the late night hours and only the sound of the rain pouring down on the floating boat broke the silence of the open sea. Waves clashed lazily against the hull and Jensen felt a little bit of the tension bleed out of him. _Thank god._

The door to the storage rooms was unguarded and Jensen felt a jolt of anger spiking in his blood. The Captain was a moron if he kept the merman unattended when some members of the crew had openly announced their desire to kill the creature rather than leaving it for selling. “Asshole,” Jensen spat, taking a few, even inhales before he'd gathered enough confidence to open the door and step inside.

The storage room wasn't as big as the freezing chambers and the narrow walls reeked of dead fish and rotten wood. The air was stale and Jensen had to fight down the urge to gag before he continued his path towards the back of the area, where the giant fish tank was located. It usually served the purpose of containing big fish to keep them as fresh as possible, but tonight it was occupied by a merman with big, blank eyes and a pained expression on his face.

The fuzzy light of the oil lamp was scarce and barely enough to bathe the surroundings in a yellow glow, but it would suffice.

“So, um, hey,” Jensen tried as he stepped closer to the tank and lifted his hand over his head, hitching the lamp higher. There was movement inside the stale water of the tank and Jensen froze to the spot.

“My, um, name is Jensen and I-”

His words stirred more rapid movement, water sloshing over the edges and dripping on the floor. Jensen caught a glimpse of flailing limbs, moving frantically against the glass walls, and then a good, long glance of the swishy tail. It was beautiful, breathtaking, all smooth muscles and cool skin, littered with gleaming scales. Their colors flowed from light azure into almost purplish-rose and glossy green down where the fin flirted with the waves, every single scale crested by dazzling silver. A disappointed sigh left Jensen's mouth as the merman pulled his tail out of sight again.

“So... I'm Jensen and... you probably can't even hear me but I want to help you.”

There was more water pouring out of the tank with the merman's panicked movements, but Jensen decided that it was best to just... go on. With a sigh he placed the lamp on a hook that dangled from the ceiling before he dropped himself on the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of the tank.

“I was there earlier, when they caught you, remember?” he whispered in a soft voice. “I pulled you out of the ocean and god, I'd give everything to turn back the clock and see it undone. I didn't even knew you guys still existed, always thought you were just fairytale characters.” He made a brief pause as he watched the movements slow down, the flashes of silver and chestnut hiding in the depths of the stale, greenish water instead. “My mom often told me about you when I was a little boy. How you rule the ocean and live under the sea, unseen, unacknowledged but still there. She used to tell me the story about your folk saving the sailors after they'd capsized, keeping them alive and their heads out of the water until they were rescued.”

It seemed like with every word falling out of Jensen's mouth, the waves seemed to become smaller, the motions inside the tank less frantic until they at last subsided completely.

“It's funny how I always dreamed about getting rescued by one of you guys as a kid and now I'm the one... anyway...” Jensen's voice stammered and he needed a few seconds to regain his composure. He was about to continue when he saw two large palms pressing against the glass walls, followed by a beautiful, troubled face. The merman's eyes were still wide and panic pooled in the greenish-blue depths, the pretty plush lips pressed into a thin line, but he didn't seem as frightened anymore. Jensen took it as a good omen.

“My men, those humans outside, they're trash,” he mumbled and was about to inch closer when he caught a glimpse of a warning on the creature's face. “They want to sell you to god knows who and I don't want that to happen, okay? Y-You... you don't belong in a cage or an aquarium or some science center, right? You'd die there.”

The merman blinked slowly and Jensen's voice trailed off, the man momentarily distracted by a fan of long lashes like smudges of coal against high-boned cheeks.

“I... um... you probably don't understand one word I'm saying, do you?” he whispered after a few beats of deafening silence. There was no reaction and Jensen sighed. “Anyway, we have to get you out of here.” He pointed towards the door, accompanying his words with wide gestures as he explained his plans. “We have to get you out of here pretty shortly. It's almost 4am and the others will be up soon. So how do we... um... I, um, I probably have to... carry you outside?” Jensen's voice wavered and he repeated a cradling gesture before he pointed to his own chest and then towards the merman.

“I know it's... not... very pleasant but you have to trust me on this, you hear me? Goddamn, why can't you speak my language, _fuck_.” There was another string of curses rushing out of Jensen's mouth before he composed himself again. “Look... merman... You and I-” he made the according gestures- “have to get out of here. I want to help you; I want you to be free. But you have to trust me.” He pointed to his own chest and held up his palms as he slipped a hesitant inch closer. “Those men outside, they want either your death or your imprisonment and I can't let them... I can't...”

The merman flinched at the urgency in Jensen's words but stayed put, even as Jensen moved closer again. There was something close to understanding dawning on the merman's face and slowly the panic made room for a slightly wary expression. Mesmerizing hazel eyes flitted towards Jensen's palms, down his body and up to his face again, studying him, contemplating.

“We have to do this, do you understand? I have to get you out! I, um, I have to take you away from... them and you...” Jensen's voice stuttered again and he almost winced at the scrutinizing gaze of the merman. “You have to trust me, okay. You-” he tried the gestures again, very slowly, very detailed- “have to trust me! Please, let me help you.”

The merman's eyes darted down to Jensen's open palms again before they rested on his chest, boring a hole through his ribcage right where his heart pounded violently against his bones.

“Please... trust me. Let me help you. Please!”

Jensen almost sobbed when the merman inside the tank finally nodded. Relief washed over him and after what felt like an eternity his limbs stopped shaking. He took a deep breath.

“Okay... good. Okay, very good,” he rambled and it took him every rest his of self control not to frantically scramble to his feet but slowly straighten up instead. Pushing to his knees and from there to his feet was easier said than done and by the time he stood upright, the merman had already vanished into the slime green depths again.

“Please, please, please,” Jensen whimpered and felt his heart drop inside his chest. He was rapidly running out of time. “Please don't... don't do that to me, buddy.”

And as if the creature had understood his pleas, he promptly emerged from the tank, head poking out of the waves to reveal a beautiful, wet face with plush, pink lips and a tightly clenched jaw.

“It's okay... I, um, I need you to... I...” Jensen was at a complete loss of words and almost cried out in relief when the rest of the merman's body appeared over the surface, long arms hesitantly extending to where Jensen stood.

It was more reassurance for himself than for the merman when Jensen mumbled “Yeah... okay, it's okay. I... I got this,” before bending down and offering the merman his neck to hold on to. There was a brief moment of absolute silence, nothing but the howling wind and the soft pit-pat of the rain against the deck between them, and Jensen forced his body to still completely. He didn't want to scare the merman, didn't want him to think twice and vanish into the tank again. It seemed like it was the right call when a few heartbeats later he felt a pair of arms circle his neck.

“Okay,” Jensen mumbled and exhaled slowly before bringing his own arms around the tantalizing body in front of him. The merman's skin was cool, wet and smooth under his touch. No scar marred the tanned surface and it felt almost like a sin to trace those rough, calloused fingers across such delicate softness. But it had to be done and with his hands gripping tight and his face brushing silky waves of chestnut hair, Jensen slowly pulled the merman out of the disgusting water and into the stale air of the storage room.

Once he was straightened up again, he was faced with the problem of where to put his hands in order to pick up the swishy tail. “I, um, … is it okay if I....” He tried to voice his concerns, but the merman was already ahead of him as he hauled himself closer against Jensen's chest and his fish tail into the man's arms. He wiggled a little, strong arms flexing around Jensen's neck and smooth muscles rippling under the cool skin, until he was fully cradled in the man's arms-- then waited. His breathing was shallow and his lips a soft promise against Jensen's neck as he held on to the fisherman, his eyes wide and vulnerable.

The first step was tentative, but soon Jensen grew more confident and after a few, careful inches he strode out wider. The merman was heavy in his arms but he didn't mind, relishing the feeling of cool, pliant scales under his fingers instead. Hair as smooth as silk brushed against Jensen's cheek and the merman's naked chest rubbing against his own left him breathless.

They made it outside without bumping into anyone and soon the quarterdeck came in sight. The merman had perked up as soon as he felt the rain against his skin and something close to a moan had fallen from his lips and into Jensen's ear. Now they were almost at the rail and Jensen felt his heart skip a beat.

“I'm sorry,” he heard himself whisper into the velvet-soft chestnut strands. “I'm sorry humans are assholes. This should never have happened.” The merman didn't show any sign of understanding, but for a split second it felt like he was relaxing against Jensen, strong arms squeezing a little tighter around his neck.

Jensen couldn't even help the words that poured out of his mouth. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he mumbled again and then “Take care, don't get caught again.” They were at the rail and Jensen hauled the heavy bundle over the wooden balustrade. “Goodbye, beautiful.”

A soft, cooing noise flew out of the merman's chest before he unclasped his arms from Jensen's neck and let go, falling fast before hitting the sea's surface with a loud chop. He didn't look back or wave to Jensen, just vanished into the pitch black waves and left the fisherman gazing into the water, a hole in his chest and a pleased smile on his lips.

Jensen was royally screwed.


	2. Chapter 2

The shouting and foaming Captain had found him the next day, bristling with anger and barely coherent. He had screamed into Jensen's face until Jensen's ears rang and then some, and only left to take his position behind the boat's wheel after he'd fired Jensen so thoroughly he was sure it would haunt him in his dreams. Jeffrey had said Jensen should consider himself lucky that the Captain didn't rip his head off.

As soon as they'd reached the shoreline, Jensen had been kicked off the boat, his duffel bag and boots hitting the pier behind him with a dull thud. A few of the other fisherman had spat next to him, called him traitor and hollering obscenities when he made his way towards the land-- but to be honest he hadn't give much thought to it.

After he'd freed the merman the night before, he'd felt better, more at ease and more like himself than he had in weeks. He'd spent another ten minutes on deck, just him and the open sea, before he'd found his way back into the cabin and his bed, his body pleasantly pliant and filled with thrilling satisfaction. He'd slept like a baby-- until the Captain had appeared on his doorstep, that is.

Whatever, it was just a stupid job, nothing he gave two shits about. Neah Bay wasn't exactly a big city, but he'd find another job. What he _did_ give a fuck about was that without a job he was one step closer to losing his parents' house down by the bay. Being a fisherman has never been a rewarding job and Jensen always tiptoed on the edge of losing his home, especially since the bank had raised the taxes last month, leaving him reeling and his pockets empty.

That's why he found himself standing in Danneel's office again the next morning, eyes crusted and sleep lines running down his cheeks. Clutching the coffee cup in his hands he waited until his ex-wife had finished her phone call, before telling her about losing his job and about the house. There was no reason to lie or hush up the harsh reality in front of Danneel; they were ex-husband and ex-wife, not enemies. There were few people on this planet who knew Jensen better than Danneel did and even after their divorce she'd never used it against him. She was gorgeous, brilliant and a better friend than Jensen had ever been.

“Oh honey,” Danneel said after Jensen had finished and pulled him in a hug, patting his back gently before squeezing his shoulders. He didn't tell her about the merman-- and it wasn't exactly a lie. But in the bright morning light of a new day, everything seemed less... real, dream and reality blurring into one another until Jensen started to question his own sanity. He had spent the night lying awake, the soft mattress beneath his body, eyes fixed on the ceiling and his mind spinning from what he'd heard, seen, felt. Questions formed in his brain like sparks, glinting bright in the darkness before burning down and when he'd woken up after what felt like five seconds of fitful sleep, he had decided to keep the events private. So he remained silent about the real reason for his sudden dismissal.

“It's fine,” Jensen murmured as soon as the woman had untangled herself from him. “I just need a new job.”

Danneel cocked her head, biting her lip. “I'm sorry Jen, but I can't help you this time,” she chirped, looking honestly sorry. “After you left a week ago I got a new intern and I can't afford any more company workers.”

Jensen sighed. “It's alright, Dani. I'm gonna find another job.” It was a lie and both of them knew it. Pinching the bridge of his nose Jensen took a deep inhale, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “Call me if there's anything I can do?”

Danneel nodded enthusiastically. “Of course, honey. I'll ask around, too. You're a good, honest and hardworking man; it would be a shame if we couldn't find something for you, right?”

 ♦ 

They didn't. After what had happened on board of the small fishing boat, no Captain wanted to hire Jensen anymore. Word traveled fast and soon people scrunched their faces in a scrutinizing manner whenever Jensen showed up. It wasn't only because Jensen's had freed the merman, ridding himself and the whole crew of the chance to become filthily rich with selling the rare creature, but also the fact that he'd betrayed his Captain's trust. Loyalty was a big deal for everyone who sailed across the Seven Seas; it was precious and the utmost necessity, and Jensen's will to risk everything for a lower creature was considered dangerous, foolish and treacherous.

Tom tried to help him by arranging a few short trips with foreign fishing boats, but as soon as the crews found out they would cancel the job offering and send him away again. Neah Bay wasn't a big city after all.

It was in late May when Jensen finally found a job as a pizza delivery man. The working conditions were bad and the pizza was even worse, but at least he could drive around town on his own and had a warm dinner four times a week. A cheerful Danneel called him a week later, telling him she had gotten him a job as a security guard at the local museum-- only night shifts and two days a week but better than nothing, right? Jensen agreed with his jaw clenched and a longing settled inside his chest he didn't think he'd ever feel again. Despite living on the beach, he really missed the sea.

The time he didn't spend inside a smelly car or wrapped into a way too tight security guard uniform, he spent fixing things around the house. It was long overdue -the roof already leaked in two different places and the tiles in the bathroom were practically shedding from the wall- and now every free minute was filled with trips to the do-it-yourself store, sawing wood, stirring cement or measuring latches into the right size. After replacing the broken shingles on the roof, Jensen found the time to renew the rotten panels on the porch and give the rails a fresh, new coat of white paint. He gave the windows a make-over and finally fixed every creaking hinge in the entire house, including the ones on the cupboards. The tiles in the bathroom came down on a humid afternoon in July and after considering his funds, Jensen went for some plain, gray tiles as he remade the walls and floor. The fireplace in the living room got thoroughly cleaned for the first time since Jensen's parents had decided to move out to Seattle, and after two weeks of uncoordinated fumbling and cursing under his breath, Jensen finally fixed the sink so it worked properly for the first time in about twenty years.

It was a hot summer with lots of daylight hours, the yellow sun burning down on Jensen while he worked outside. Soon his skin was tanned and dusted with a good amount of freckles, the dark tattoos along his arms and shoulders a stark contrast to the soft golden skin. The water was calm these days and the waves gurgling along the stony beach were small and playful, licking at Jensen's feet when he strolled along the shoreline in the afternoons. Sea gulls floated in the soft breeze and sometimes a massive gray whale would shove his back out of the water, snorting a fountain of water into the air and stirring the waves with his heavy movements.

Jensen worked hard and relentless during the day, his body sore and muscles strained beneath his greasy overalls, and only in the tepid evening hours when he sat on his porch as he looked over the peacefully murmuring water, did he allow himself to relax and his thoughts to wander back to that fateful night when he met the merman, all sleek muscles and big, frightened eyes. Sometimes he thought about what would have happened if he hadn't decided in favor of the strange creature and whenever he even considered it, a cold, harsh shiver would roll down his back.

“Hope you're safe out there,” he whispered into the salty breeze one evening, eyes scanning the horizon in the hope of catching a glimpse of dazzling scales and chestnut hair. But the merman stayed where he belonged: on the bottom of the sea, far away from humans and their grabby hands and hooks.

Jensen would never admit it, but his dreams were filled with swishy tails and purple, green and silver scales, too. They clouded over with the touch of strong arms, the memory of smooth, cool skin and hissing noises falling out of a tight throat. Sometimes they'd zoom in on little details, like the gentle curve of soft pink lips, the twitch of a perfectly swung eyebrow, a single mole dotting golden skin or a fan of dark lashes falling on a high boned cheek, crowning hazel eyes, making Jensen gasp and squirm in his sleep. The dreams smelled like salt and sun-kissed skin, felt rough around the edges and shockingly enough it wasn't exactly uncommon for Jensen to wake up with a raging hard-on, hands clenching into the sheets and sweat pooling in the hollows of his collarbones. The nights were hot and Jensen lonely, and most times after waking up he found himself fucking into his palm with intent, the image of smooth muscles, soft pink nipples and beautiful, frightened eyes in his head.

In the last week of August, Jensen got a letter from the bank that they were about to raise the payments again and Jensen found himself forced to look for a third job. With furrowed brows and a lump in his throat he started scanning newspapers again and for once he was lucky. Go figure. A new courier company was looking for someone who was willing to deliver packages and groceries to the rather small islands outside the shoreline, the ones large enough to contain a few, crooked houses but too small to have a store or a postal service. Jensen had only a small row boat and most people out there were weirdos, but he would just have to drop the packages at the pier so he took the offering with a racing heart; he was going work on the sea again.

With three jobs at his hands and one of them having him row to the islands two times a week, Jensen had to stop working around the house. He abandoned his current project -fixing the tool shed in the backyard- in favor of renewing the coat of tar on the underside of the row boat and after signing the contract on a cool, cloudy September morning, he got his first appointment for the following Wednesday. The guy behind the counter wasn't too enthusiastic as he explained the schedule, but Jensen didn't mind --he wasn't too enthusiastic about his current life either.

But it went on and Jensen rolled with it. Wearing a tight, sweaty suit every Monday and Wednesday night, listening to that strange smelling guy on the counter without looking like he was about to murder someone? Easy. Delivering pizza to teenagers with braces and greasy hair, wearing their pajamas, having sleep-overs and ogling him like _he_ was the delivered good? Annoying, but nothing he couldn't deal with. Rowing out into the open sea every Wednesday and Saturday, working his muscles, sweat running down his back, the sun stinging in his eyes, burning his skin and the sharp breeze tossing him around, almost making the tiny boat topple over? Beyond _perfect_.

It was everything Jensen had missed. Sometimes he found himself floating through the waves after he'd dropped his charge, arms clasped behind his neck and body lying flat on the small rowing bench as his feet grazed the cold waters. It wasn't until then that he felt truly at home.

 ♦ 

The weather was shaping up nasty during the upcoming fall and the Indian summer was soon swallowed by harsh thunderstorms and the sound of rain pit-pattering against the windows. Mist nested in the bay on every new morning and a stiff breeze brought more rain-laden clouds and hail storms from the sea.

Jensen was barely up when his phone rang and with a grunt he answered. It was his boss from the courier company, asking him to do an extra hour later this day.

“What is it?” Jensen asked, scratching the back of his neck. It was Friday which meant he had to turn in early for the evening shift with the pizza delivery service and an extra round to the islands would cost him time. Lots of it.

“Just a few stacks of canned food, two packages from the postal service and a box of- I don't even know, buddy,” Chad explained as he rustled a few papers around, the sound adding more static to the crackling line.

Jensen snorted. “No surprises that time?” he scoffed, voice even. “No passengers, no dogs, no-”

“No dude, I swear!” his boss chimed in.

“I'll do it, then.” Jensen sighed as he scanned the schedule pinned to his fridge. “I could use some extra cash.”

Chad seemed delighted. “Awesome, bro. Come and pick up the stuff around 3pm?”

Jensen agreed and seconds later he slammed the phone shut, eyes flitting out of the window and towards the gray front of clouds piling up threateningly on the horizon. This was going to be one hell of a trip and with a last, longing look towards his sofa, Jensen left the first floor to get dressed, his coffee cold and forgotten on the counter.

After picking up the charges and stacking the boxes neatly into his Jeep, Jensen had a quick snack before making his way to his private pier. The row boat was already bobbing up and down in the stormy, unsteady waves as if it weighed nothing, the wood slick and slippery and dangerous. In the pouring rain, it was difficult to pile the load into the narrow space and Jensen was soaked thoroughly under his slickers by the time he was done, his shirt sweaty and clinging to his skin. During the day the weather had turned from bad to worse and after the first few strokes Jensen already regretted agreeing to the job.

It turned out it wasn't only a bad idea to row out into the storm against his better knowledge, but also the very last decision Jensen would make for a long time.

He was on his way back when the wind turned offshore, hissing into the man's face with a ferocity that made him tremble. Water gushed into the boat, slowing Jensen down, giving him no choice but to lean his entire weight into every stroke. Thunder crashed against the distant grates, echoing in his ears, roaring loud and angry. The waves were strong and balky and crested with fuzzy white foam, spilling into Jensen's slickers, soaking him, chilling him until he shook so violently he could barely hold on to the oars and after two hours on the open sea, the man felt his strength quickly dwindling away.

It got worse when the lightning cracked right above his head and the storm turned into a hurricane. The boat was tossed around the waves like a leaf and the muscles in Jensen's arms screamed for mercy. Blood rushed through his ears and with the first tears stinging in the corners of his eyes he knew it was too late. He was a fool to believe that he could win this fight against the tides. He was a fool to come out on a stormy day like this in the first place and with a groan he let go of the oars. The patches of sore skin on his hands had turned into blisters, bloody and stinging, and Jensen watched the wounds get washed out by the salty sea with the next wave.

There was something close to peace that settled inside his chest as soon as he stopped fighting, the oars long lost in the whirlpools the ocean created along the boat, and he clutched the thwart as he listened: to the water, hissing and sucking and gurgling and swooshing. To the rain, murmuring a soft lullaby, oddly soft and welcomed with an almost-smile. To the thunder and the lightning, to the shrieking of the stupid sea gulls, equally foolish in their belief they could survive this madness when only flying high enough. And when a giant wave crashed against the boat, toppling it over, sending Jensen's numb body down and down and down, the man didn't even protest anymore.

His arms weak from all the rowing, Jensen only made a few, futile attempts to swim but soon let his body go limp again. The water was angry and strong and squished him in its grip, squeezing the air out of his lungs and replacing it with dangerous wetness, letting him gurgle and choke on it while steadily, deliberately pulling him down.

Jensen didn't see the giant, brown rock through the veil of seawater and even if he had he probably could've done nothing to prevent himself from being flung against it. His head connected with the stone in a nasty sound, wet and loud and sending Jensen coughing, gagging. With his vision graying out, Jensen's consciousness dwindled away. Gasping he sank down, images of green and purple scales, chestnut hair and pursed, pink lips swirling in his mind, giving him company on his way into the dark depths of the ocean he once fell in love with.

 ♦ 

There was a pull on Jensen's right arm and it was hard and unyielding and a stark contrast to the soft embrace of the waves. It was... _wrong_ , out of place, and Jensen felt hot anger spark through him as he yanked his eyes open, struggling to find the source of disturbance. He had made his peace with going out like that, cradled in the ocean's painful touch and he wasn't content with someone taking it away from him. Not in a million years.

The darkness beneath the water's stormy surface was complete and almost impenetrable and it took Jensen a few, blurry seconds to make out the hand that was clasped around his wrist. _Impossible_. Jensen snorted, sending a gush of white bubbles upwards and suddenly he was painfully aware of the tightness in his lungs, burning, crushing his chest, threatening to send him back into the darkness he was coming from. A sheer endless stream of bubbles spilled past Jensen's lips and he gave another, this time stronger, pull against the hand-- surely he must have hallucinated anyway. There was just no way someone else could be out here, swimming, swiftly parting the waves as they made their way through the angry waters. Unless...

The tightness in Jensen's lungs kept him from thinking, from tracing the one, redeeming possibility, and he blindly reached out for the hand, his fingers circling a strong wrist and giving a weak pull. It was an 'I can't breathe' and a 'Thank you for being with me' all at once and once again peace settled inside Jensen's chest, cushioning the burning urge to inhale. It was so easy to let go, to just give in to the sharp up and down of the waves, the hissing in his ears and Jensen was weak, his body robbed of all strength. The hand around his wrist loosened and Jensen thought it was good, it was right, it was okay.

That was until he caught a glimpse of dazzling scales and felt strong, relentless fingers around his hip, preventing him from being tossed around like a ragdoll, pulling him close to a hard body. A heaving chest pressed against his and suddenly a beautiful face was so very close to Jensen's, yanking him even closer, troubled hazel eyes searching his. Jensen's stomach had exactly two seconds to perform a full-on backflip before soft lips captured his mouth, sucking him in and not letting go even as Jensen's arms flailed out wide, trying to get away and get closer simultaneously.

This was ridiculous, unreal, stupid, _impossible_ \-- and yet the merman was there, right in front of him, his hands cupping Jensen's face almost tenderly, holding him in place as soft lips coaxed his mouth open gently. It was by sheer surprise that Jensen followed the silent plea, confusion swimming in his head and clouding his ability to think straight, and he didn't get the idea until he felt a stream of cool air rushing into his lungs, sweeping away the burn that clawed at his insides. Jensen almost moaned against the merman's mouth and with his hands clinging to broad shoulders he pushed closer, greedily sucking in breath after breath, relishing the pure taste of nothing but sweet, sweet oxygen on his tongue as he swallowed like a starving man.

Jensen didn't know how long they floated under the surface of the raging ocean, bodies pressed flush against each other, hands coming to cling to each other's faces and Jensen desperately licking the breath of life from the merman's lips. His senses numb to everything outside the merman's touch, he reveled in the feeling of being safe and saved, of strong arms and smooth muscles holding him instead of holding on to him, and when the merman hesitantly pulled away Jensen couldn't stifle the silent moan leaving his mouth in a wash of bubbles.

The merman made a few gestures, mostly pointing upwards, and while the look on his face was still hesitant, almost wary, his fingers weren't as they circled Jensen's hips in a strong grip. Jensen responded in kind as he held on to sleek muscles and seemingly within seconds they broke through the surface, their movements driven by a long, swishy tail. The noises outside the water were deafening, thunder, storm and lightning crashing down on Jensen like a rock, knocking him out. He was dizzy again, his breathing suddenly uneven as if he'd forgot to breathe without the merman's lips moving against his and with a groan he clutched his head.

“I c-can't...” he whimpered, voice raw in his chest. “I-I...”

The merman's reply was a slow nod as his grip tightened around Jensen, fingers moving around the fisherman's waist, clutching his soaked slickers and the shirt beneath. The look on his beautiful face had changed from wary to determined, his brows furrowed in utter concentration and his lips pressed into a hard line. He made a soft, cooing sound in the back of his throat and then he plunged under water again, pulling the struggling Jensen with him and holding him close as they shot through the darkness of the furious sea.

 ♦ 

Jensen couldn't say for the life of him how long they swam. He didn't know and he didn't care, his mind at some point going blank. Moving mostly underneath the stormy surface, the merman made sure to emerge their bodies frequently to make sure Jensen's lungs stayed full of oxygen before diving in again. His pace never faltered, his grip never loosened, and after what felt like an eternity the waves became more ferocious, their hissing almost unbearable as the scent of sand, wet concrete and earth mixed beneath the salt-drenched, tang-filled smell.

He expected them to crash into the shoreline, but the merman seemed to have other plans as he stirred their bodies through the furious water, pushing and pulling, plowing forward relentlessly until Jensen's hands got hold of the weathered wood of his pier. With shaking hands and the help of a set of strong forearms, Jensen hauled himself up, fingers scrambling for purchase against the slick timber and his stomach lurching with the amount of water he'd swallowed. Gagging he came to lie down just in time to see the merman's concerned face disappearing into the waves.

“H-hey, stop...” Jensen murmured, wrenching out another wash of water as he tried to prop himself up on his arms. “S-Stop please, please.” It was more a whimper than a shout, pathetic and easily swallowed by the howling storm, but the merman seemed intrigued to listen as his face appeared between the lead gray waves again seconds later. A few feet away from the dock he cocked his head, expression curious.

“P-Please, I wanna... I wanna-” Jensen needed to stop when another gush of water dribbled out of his mouth- “Lemme at least s-say thank you.”

The merman didn't react but didn't flee the place either, and Jensen counted it as a small win.

“You saved me. Thank you for that.” He tried a small smile. “Guess we're e-even now, huh?”

Nothing on the merman's face showed that he'd understood the words that poured out of Jensen's mouth, but he watched the man with intent, considering, then making the soft, cooing sound again.

“I wish I knew your name,” Jensen mumbled. “I wish I could... I wish I could thank you properly. I...”

The merman's head tilted at that and slowly he approached the pier again, his movements hesitant and the look on his face wary, like he expected someone to throw a net over him at any second. His lips were pursed when he gripped the wood next to Jensen's hand, their fingers brushing briefly as the merman leaned in with something close to a small smile playing around his plush lips before submerging himself in the shallow waters again, flitting away within the blink of an eye, leaving a pale, wondering Jensen in his wake.

 ♦ 

Somehow Jensen made it up the stony path to his house where he fumbled his keys out from under the doormat, tumbling inside and face planting into the dirt-stained rug in the hallway. Lying there for seemingly endless seconds, he ignored the piercing ring of the phone -probably his boss at the pizza delivery calling to fire him- and listened to his own, shallow breath instead. The rattling inside his chest was only interrupted by the gagging noises he wrenched out, his stomach still heaving, lurching and protesting against the amount of salt-water he'd consumed during the last several hours.

Eventually he felt stable enough to get up and get rid of his clothing, leaving a trail of wet footsteps and soaked garments on his way into the bathroom. Staining the new tiles, he slipped into the shower and under a spray of hot water, staying there for at least twenty minutes until his skin felt numb from the pressure and his toes were warm again.

The phone rang again when Jensen was curled up on his sofa, but he really couldn't be bothered to give a fuck. His muscles, now regularly tempered again, were so heavy it felt like someone had clasped leaden weights around his wrists and ankles and every tendon seemed lacerated from his bones. Blood pumped thick and slow in his veins and there was nothing he could do against the dull pain inside his stomach and head except sleep, face planted in the pillow and body coiled into a soft blanket.

He dreamed of scales and fish tails again, but this time his memories tasted like sweet, pink lips and the cold, cold abyss.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen woke up with a dull pain pounding in the back of his head and a throat so dry it made every swallow feel like like he was choking on sand. Groaning, he scrubbed a hand over his face to clear his blurry view.

Rain was still pouring outside, showering the shingles and turning the silence of the house into a quiet lullaby, steady and inviting and familiar. Sometime during the night the thunder had died down but the ocean was still angry, hissing and gurgling as it spilled over the shoreline.

A quick glance towards the clock in the open kitchen area confirmed Jensen's first guess: it wasn't even 7am yet and the shadows in the corners were still thick and threatening. In his dreams, Jensen had been with the merman again, their bodies intertwined, mingled, touching and rubbing against each other amidst the angry up and down of the sea. Despite the cold water and the overwhelming taste of panic on Jensen's tongue, it had been exciting, the merman's skin a hot kiss against Jensen's body, searing, tempting, and the lingering memory turned the cool space of Jensen's home into a lonely place.

With a sigh Jensen got up, shuffling his feet around until he got to the counter. His head was spinning from the pain and he felt nausea bubbling up in his chest as he moved, his lids growing heavy. It seemed like his collision with the rock had a way more intense impact on his body than he had originally anticipated and groaning, Jensen fumbled for some aspirin and a glass of water. Soon the sun would make a futile attempt to break through the thick layer of clouds and then Jensen would have to face reality and deal with the aftermath of yesterday's events. But right now the world was still asleep and Jensen felt sore, exhausted, and he decided to crawl back under the blankets for a while longer.

Swallowing two pills and washing the bitter taste down with a mouthful of cold water, Jensen unplugged the phone before checking the door -holy fuck, it had been unlocked the whole night- and staggered towards the sofa again, flopping down and falling asleep within the blink of an eye.

 ♦ 

The next time Jensen woke up it was even more unpleasant and he felt like a herd of horses had recently stomped over him. The bump on the back of his head ached, spreading a dull flick of pain down his spine with every inhale.

Groaning and fidgeting, Jensen got up, stumbled into the kitchen and started the coffee machine before anything else. Plugging in the phone, he dialed the pizza delivery's number to face the wrath of his boss but only got voicemail. He tried his insurance company and talked to a bored young lady for a few minutes until she dropped that the bosses weren't in yet and hung up. He didn't have high hopes of actually catching someone at the delivery company and was surprised to find Chad already up and behind his desk.

“Jensen, buddy, what can I do for you?” the man chattered on, slurping on what could be his morning coffee.

“Morning Chad, I um... I had an accident last night,” Jensen replied bluntly, scratching the short blond hair at the nape of his neck.

“Oh my god, dude! Are you okay?”

Jensen scoffed. “Kinda. But my boat is-”

“Fucking hell, it happened while you were out on the water? Please tell me it isn't about the job I gave you.”

“Yeah, about that...” Jensen's voice trailed off and suddenly he felt awkward. “I, um, kinda capsized when I was on my way back.”

Chad gasped. “You rowed out in the thunderstorm? Dude, you could've gotten yourself killed. What is wrong with you?”

“The weather surprised me when I was on my way back.”

“Are you badly injured? Like, are you in a hospital?”

“No, no everything alright. I just... I'm just a little... dizzy. Listen Chad, I actually called to tell you that I can't do the job anymore. My boat is... gone and I can't afford another one until the insurance company-”

Chad's voice cut him off, the high-pitched tune somewhat gone from it. “Right yeah, it's a work accident so you should be good. They'll replace the boat eventually.”

Jensen replied with a noncommittal grunt and took a sip from his coffee, the liquid burning its way down his throat. “But until then I'm out of business, I suppose.”

Chad seemed to consider his words for a while before he replied, sounding sorry. “Yeah man, that's a bummer. I really don't wanna give you the sack but I can't employ you if you're not... you know. I have to find someone else.”

Jensen didn't even flinch. “I know,” he sighed and took another mouthful of black, hot coffee. “It's fine. Should I come in later to get my stuff?”

“Look buddy, I'm really sorry. You're my best man... well, not that I have that many in the first place, but that's not the point. I wish I could do something for you, but this company is just me... you get what I'm tryna say?”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah, Chad I get it. No hard feelings, it's fine.”

They kept chatting for a few minutes before Chad got another incoming call and hung up with a final “I'm sorry, man.”

Downing the rest of his still hot coffee Jensen decided to take another aspirin. Trying the insurance company again, he finally got to talk to his agent. The man sounded mildly concerned and promised he would send Jensen the right papers-- then the kitchen fell silent again.

The day went on as did the rain. Pattering down relentlessly, it covered the bay in a haze of gray and blue, blurring the windows and lashing ferociously around the corners of the house. Most of the time it was nice to live on top of a cliff, the endless ocean to Jensen's feet and the horizon so close he only needed to reach out and touch it. But on days like this, when the sea was angry and the weather vicious, it was rather scary to sit between the crooked walls, clutching a cup of coffee and draped in blankets, trying to cushion himself against the constant downpour.

It was around 3pm when Jensen finally caught the boss of the pizza delivery on the phone, apologizing, voice low as he tried to explain what happened. The guy scoffed.

“First and last time, Ackles,” he demanded and huffed at Jensen's immediate “yes, sir.”

“See you in two hours then.”

“Yes, sir.” And with that Jensen hung up, releasing a deep exhale. For once luck seemed to be on his side.

 ♦ 

Jensen didn't mean to run into Chad in the office when he dropped by to gather his things in the late afternoon. Drenched with rain he was about to grab his papers and return the keys when the blond man strolled in.

“Hey, buddy,” he greeted, looking sheepish. “You have a minute?”

Jensen nodded, eyes nervously darting to the clock on the white wall. “Sure. What is it?”

“So, I thought about the whole... accident thing and I'm really sorry. Don't say anything, I know it's not my fault but _man_ , I feel like the biggest asshole for canning you right now. That's not the kind of boss I want to be.”

Chad took a deep inhale and Jensen nodded slowly, understanding. He felt sorry for Chad who continued to squirm uncomfortably under his gaze. “It's alright; 's not your fault anyway. I should've known better than to row out-”

“Yeah... probably. However,” Chad mused, hands fiddling with a stack of papers. “I talked to my dad earlier and told him what happened. He owns the fish market on the Main Road and as it turns out he could use someone to sell him some... stuff. Look, I don't even know, I've no clue about the fishing business whatsoever.”

Jensen felt the corners of his mouth tug upwards before he replied. “Stuff, huh? Sounds like a great opportunity, Chad. But as you know I don't have a boat and I can't fish without one.”

“What happened to the good old fishing rod?” Chad replied, deflating slightly. He really wanted this to work out.

Jensen shrugged. “I dunno, man.”

“What, um... what about fish traps? Can you do them? You live down by the bay, right? Shouldn't be too difficult to set some traps down there somewhere.”

“That's actually a possibility,” Jensen agreed as his brows furrowed with the intense thinking he was doing, gears grinding behind his forehead. He remembered having a few fish traps in the shed. They were old and probably needed some fixing, but it was better than nothing and his dad would be happy to hear his old supplies were being put to good use again.

“See? This way my dad gets his fill on... fishy-things and I can stop worrying about your sorry ass, dude.” Chad beamed.

“I, um... I don't know what to say, Chad. I'm just... this is very nice of you? I... I really don't know what to say,” Jensen replied awkwardly, his cheeks heating at the thought of his former boss worrying about him, asking his dad for a job just to help Jensen out.

“How about 'thank you' for a start, huh?”

Jensen felt the tips of his ears turning hot and pink. “Yeah, of course, man. Thank you. Like really, honestly... thank you.”

“No biggie, mate. Here, I'll give you my dad's number. Call him in the early morning, he loves that.” Chad scribbled down a few numbers on a crumbled piece of paper before handing it to Jensen, smile still in place.

“How... I want to thank you properly,” Jensen told before catching up with his lips.

“Dude, this isn't a chick flick.” Chad replied hastily, grin becoming downright filthy. “I'm not into candle-light dinners anyway.”

Heat rushed to Jensen's cheeks and- why the fuck did he seem to be unable to form decent sentences today? _Fuck_.

Chad saved him from his misery before he's able to stammer out a reply. “Just a joke, dude. Though I'm _really_ not into... anyway. Take me for a beer some day and we're good. How does that sound?”

“Good.”

“Okay.”

Jensen's eyes darted to the clock again and it sent a jerk through his body. “Shit, I gotta go.” Throwing the keys on Chad's desk, he grabbed his papers. “Pizza delivery is waiting. Thanks again, Chad. I'll call your dad tomorrow. You're a saint.”

Chad's smile was honest and sweet. “Yeah, yeah. Don't get your panties in a twist, princess,” he uttered, waving Jensen goodbye before the door fell shut.

The rest of the evening passed unspectacularly. After apologizing again to his boss, Jensen slipped into the greasy pizza delivery uniform and spent the night inside the company's tiny car, switching through the channels on the radio, handing pizza to the customers and -for the most part- waiting in the kitchen corner to get something to do. The business wasn't exactly booming.

 ♦ 

When Jensen called Chad's father the next morning, the man expressed his wish to meet Jensen in person before offering him a job and hence Jensen shimmied into a pair of clean jeans and his best sweater, marine blue and thick and warm. Scooping up some coffee and a donut on his way into town, he reached the fish market at the same time as Chad's father, a tall, impressive man with a fuzzy beard and crinkles around his eyes. They talked about the sea and being in the fishing business for a while before going on to the more important things: work contract and conditions, deadlines and salary. It turned out Mr. Murray's expectations weren't that high at all and after half an hour Jensen signed a loose contract and left the place with a smile and the warm feeling of having accomplished something today.

He used the chance to grab some groceries on the way home, his fridge being mostly empty for the better part of the week, and filling up on gas. The rain had somewhat faded during the night and Jensen was grateful when he pulled into the driveway, parking the car and getting the things inside before changing into his oldest, greasiest overalls.

The bay was covered in a soft veil of mist today and it looked like cotton wool. The rain had turned the cliffs into a dark, blank mass and the smell of salt and rotten algae clouded the air. Sniffing, Jensen trudged through the backyard towards the shed, leaving a trail of footsteps in the muddy mess of grass and bloated earth. It took him about half an hour to pull all nine fish traps out, spilling a can of white paint in the process and cursing throughout the whole cleaning process. He succeeded in scraping his palms on a sharp edge of a rusted nail while dragging the last trap into the fuzzy daylight where he began his inspection.

They were mostly okay, the nets still intact and only a few moths had managed to chew through the strings. The wire in the ovals was a little rusty and one of the bow nets had lost its shape entirely due to being trapped under a bunch of tires for years, but otherwise they were good to use and Jensen couldn't help the pleased smile that spread across his face. His job situation was still not ideal but he would manage. Money would come in in small doses and it would be enough to pay his bills and taxes-- at least until the bank decided to increase the rates again, that is.

He spent the evening and half of the night sitting on the kitchen table, patching the ripped nets up, his fingers working nimbly with needle and thread. He had done things like that for the better part of his life and it was easy for him to string the loops together where they had lost grip of each other, skillfully knotting and securing his work after he was finished with them. The nets felt rough and familiar under his touch and still smelled faintly of salt and sand. Jensen worked quickly and efficiently in the quiet of his kitchen and only stopped when his head started to throb again, the bump pounding unpleasantly and sending sparks of white-hot pain through his veins.

The fire in the hearth had shrunk, cold daring to spread throughout the house, and Jensen groaned as he got up slowly. His brain rattled inside his skull and he scrubbed his hand over his face. Fatigue gnawed on his bones and there was a void inside his growling tummy, protesting and stinging and reminding the man of the complete absence of food during the last eight hours.

“Shit,” Jensen mumbled to himself as he started preparing a little midnight snack in front of the TV before settling onto the spacey sofa for another short night, deprived of sleep and haunted by the images of golden skin and dazzling scales.

 ♦ 

Apparently the alarm clock didn't give two shits about the fact that it was Sunday when it went off at ass o'clock in the morning. Groaning, Jensen fumbled for the damned thing, pointedly slamming the off-button before sitting up. It was still dark outside and the ever-falling rain was knocking on the windows again, but if he wanted to get something done today there was no chance to delay.

Snatching some cereal from the cupboards and brewing a single mug of hot, strong coffee, Jensen took a quick breakfast and, bleary-eyed, slipped into his waders. He chose a thick sweater over a simple shirt and after downing the burning hot liquid he put on his rubber boots and slickers. Minding the darkness lingering outside he decided to pick up a flashlight before he took a deep breath, bracing himself against the cold as he opened the front door.

The wind was keen and wiped the warmth off Jensen's skin immediately. Rain seeped into his hairline before he was able to pull on his hood and a shiver ran down his spine, pulling a groan out of his chest. Squinting against the darkness -that apparently wasn't as thick as he had suspected- he picked the fish traps up off the porch and headed towards the beach, carefully minding the treacherous smoothness of the slippery path.

It was always the first step that took the most overcoming and it wasn't exactly different this time. Where the wind had been cold, the water was freezing, and it sent a spike of resistance through Jensen's body as he waded deeper into the waves, ignoring the full-body shiver that went through him. The nets still clutched against his chest, Jensen made his way away from the shoreline, carefully mapping out the area and counting on his knowledge of the shallow waters he wandered since he was a kid. The ground was stony beneath the hard soles of the rubber boots and he managed to slip only twice before arriving at the almost straight line that he knew drew the border between shallow waters and treacherous depths. It was the perfect place for the fish traps to be set out and Jensen did so by slowly sinking the first one into the freezing waves, thoroughly securing the net with a couple of stones he found to make sure it wouldn't be swept away by the motions of the sea. It was dangerous to work in the fuzzy half-light of the upcoming day, so close to the slippery border, but it had to be done and with the number of traps, Jensen was left with no choice.

After setting out the third trap, Jensen's breath was labored and his fingertips already started to get numb from the cold; after the seventh he was heaving and soaked from rain and sweat and saltwater. His sleeves drenched despite the slickers and his brows furrowed in utter concentration, he was wading back to the dock to get some more nets when he spotted some unusual movements in the distance. It would have gone unnoticed by an untrained eye, but even in the half-dark Jensen could make out the tiny convulsions of the water _against_ the wind, the almost leisurely roll of waves into the wrong direction. It was disconcerting to say the least.

And still Jensen couldn't fight down the rush of hope sparking in his chest, the tiny voice that constantly whispered of hazel eyes and smooth skin becoming a little louder. Curiously he set down the nets he was about to grab and followed the trail of unusual rippling water to its source, carefully minding his steps. The wind had picked up during the last hour and howled in the grates as the man made his way through the water, curling up the troubled surface of the sea and splashing it against Jensen's thighs and belly, soaking him further. For a second he was tempted to turn around, just drop the last traps and be fucking done with it, returning to the beach and the warmth of his shower, stripping out of the heavily drenched clothing rather sooner than later. Pausing in his path, it was then that he spotted a glimpse of bare skin and chestnut colored hair floating underneath the stormy surface, right where the riff ended abruptly.

“Huh?” Jensen couldn't help the gasp, his heart skipping not one but a few beats at the sight. Could it be? Was he back? Christ, did he fucking catch the guy again? He was about to continue his steps as suddenly the world went still and a head popped out of the waves, a beautiful face amidst the chaos of the ocean.

Blinking slowly, Jensen felt his throat going dry. “H-Hey....” he stammered out without knowing why this suddenly felt so intimate. “I, um... can I help you?” Smooth, Ackles, very smooth.

The look on the merman's face didn't change; instead he kept looking stoic and slightly wary. But he didn't seem as scared anymore, the sight of utter mistrust vanished from his dripping wet features.

“Are you hurt?” Jensen tried again and took a tentative step forward, carefully watching the merman's reactions, though there wasn't much to see. The merman didn't flinch, and Jensen took it as a sign to continue his path, one foot in front of the other, cautiously. “Are y-you... trapped? Do you need some... help?”

Jensen felt like a moron for talking to the man like he would talk to a child, but up until this point he didn't even know if the merman understood his language, the words that were tumbling out of his mouth so clumsily.

“I really hope you're not squirming in one of my-” he made a vague gesture towards the docks-” nets again. That would... make me feel like a complete...dweeb.”

The merman cocked his head at the sight of Jensen's flailing, hazel eyes going wide before he cracked a small, tentative smile. “No,” he muttered under his breath, his voice throaty and raw from what could be years of disuse.

Jensen felt his heartbeat jackrabbit at the sound and couldn't help the smirk that dared to spread across his own face. “Good,” he replied breathily and stilled a few feet away from the merman, his eyes idly raking across the man's face, taking in the few scattered droplets of water that clung to his lashes, the warm honey tone of his skin and the gentle curve of his upper lip, slightly curled with the smirk.

“I thought I might have to carry you around again.” The look on the merman's face slipped into confusion and Jensen made a cradling gesture.

The merman's smile deepened. “No,” he repeated and gave a slight jerk as if to show the fisherman that he was free to move. “F-Free.”

Jensen almost toppled over with relief as he watched the merman swish through the water, laughter bubbling up in his chest. His heart was already racing a hundred miles per hour, threatening to burst out of his chest at any second, ready to join the merman's smooth motions in the waves.

“That's good... I mean that's _very_ good,” he croaked. “I'm happy about that.”

The merman stopped short at Jensen's words and cocked his had again, listening. They eyed each other for a while, gazes flitting from hair to skin to chest and back up, their breathing evening out. Daylight bloomed on the horizon and soon the sun would be making her first attempts to pierce the gray veil of clouds.

“I, um... I really... I should go and get some work done,” Jensen said after another few heartbeats of silence. He'd become restless under the merman's curious eyes and his fingertips itched with the need to do something. “I'm actually setting out some traps-” he made a gesture that would he hoped would explain his words- “for fishing. So... you better be careful around here, okay? Don't want you to... you know...” His voice trailed off.

The merman didn't seem to mind Jensen slowly turning around and trudging back through the waves. He stayed, floating, barely moving, his eyes never leaving the fisherman's back. Curiously he watched Jensen pick up the nets again and go to work as the rain slowly began to descend.

 ♦ 

Setting out the last two traps wasn't that big of a deal, but the merman's presence was distracting, diverting, his gaze burning at the nape of Jensen's neck and boring holes into his skull. It took Jensen twice as long as it should have. He fiddled with the nets more than usual, kicked around in the water as he searched for some proper stones, and the sun had already claimed a spot high above the cliffs when he finished his work.

Spinning around on his heels, Jensen curiously looked around just to find the merman gone. Disappointment washed over him like someone had emptied a bucket of ice water over his head and with a quiet sigh Jensen made his way back, waves sloshing around his thighs and the cold of the mist wrapping around his bones.

He was about to reach for the dock's ladder when he heard a quiet voice behind him.

“B-Bye,” it muttered and there was the sound of a body diving out of the water.

Jensen spun around. “H-Hey,” he boomed out in surprise before he found the decency to tone his voice down a bit. “I thought you were gone?”

The merman shrugged then shook his head, sending a few droplets of water flying. He seemed undecided, teeth worrying his lower lip, digging into the flesh, bruising it-- and he was closer now then before.

“Do you wanna say something?” Jensen asked after a few beats of awkward silence, but the merman shook his head again. The look on his face changed from thoughtful to disquieted within a matter of seconds and he was about to turn around when Jensen spoke again.

“Hey, I... um, can _I_ ask something?”

The merman hesitated.

“So, I probably thought about this more than I should have, but I'm just really curious and at this point it doesn't really matter if I embarrass myself any further, does it? I mean you pretty much manhandled me through the waves the other day and I already carried you once. _Bridal style_. So there's no reason to be shy now I guess, huh?” Jensen almost winced at the look of complete and utter lack of understanding in the merman's face, his breath hitching in his throat.

“Anyway, I just...” There was another moment of silence and confusion bloomed in the hazel depths of the merman's eyes, spreading rapidly.

Jensen took a deep inhale. “What's your name?”

By now the merman's brows were furrowed and irritation was radiating off him in waves, tainting their tentative relationship and constricting Jensen's chest with something thick and heavy. Panic boiled up.

“I don't wanna push you. If you're not okay with sharing names it's fine, too. I just... I'm Jensen. Jensen Ackles.” Words tumbled out of his mouth in a rush before Jensen knew how to stop, his fingers twisting against the cold metal of the ladder as he heavily leaned against it. “Pretty stupid name, huh?”

The merman tilted his head, confusion dwindling away as he pointed a finger at Jensen. “Jen?” he mumbled and there it was again, the soft, cooing sound. “Jens-en.”

Jensen felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under his toes and he nodded, gasping. The merman's voice was beautiful: soft, warm, smooth even through the hoarse layer and Jensen shuddered.

“Right,” he replied with a smile. “Now you know my name and-”

The merman made a curt gesture, cutting Jensen off-- which was probably for the best, because the fisherman felt an increasing amount of butterflies fluttering inside his belly, daring him to say something inexcusably stupid at any second.

“Jen-sen,” the merman repeated carefully, before tapping his finger against his own, bare chest. “Ja... Jar-ed.”

Jensen gaped. “Jared? That's your name? Your name is _Jared_?”

The merman nodded enthusiastically, smile back in place and cheeks tinged pink. “Jensen,” he cooed and Jensen almost whined at the sound.

“Jared,” Jensen whispered in response, relishing the moment, tasting the name, savoring the flavor of salt and cool fall air, and reveling in the way it rolled off his tongue as it plucked a quiet sigh from his chest.

The merman nodded again and _wow,_ there was definitely a blush creeping up his cheeks and streaking the tips of his ears scarlet. “Bye, Jensen,” he said as he dropped his gaze.

“Bye, Jared,” Jensen replied just as softly and with his pulse skyrocketing he watched Jared dive under, his body vanishing, until every opalescent scale of his long tail was swallowed by the lead gray water.

“See you, Jared... maybe.”

_Hopefully._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we start, I wanna do a quick shout-out to the amazing people that provide me with all the relentless support, on here, as well as on [tumblr](http://sammyslittlelullaby.tumblr.com)!!! You make me go on with just as much enthusiasm and courage like on the day I came up with the whole idea. 
> 
> I'm sorry for the long break I took, I was away to visit Canada and attend VanCon. /////still blushing and swooning over here////
> 
> Anyway, thank y'all so much and enjoy the new chapter. You're the absolutely amazing. ////clutches your pretty faces// ಥ◡ಥ

By the time Jensen made his way down to the pier in the golden light of the next morning, the sun was already up and waiting to be consumed by a wall of threatening clouds that were looming above the horizon. The breeze was sharp, heading North, and Jensen tasted salt along with his coffee as he took a swig out of his cup. The water around the crates was disturbed, gurgling waves nervously playing around the slick, black rocks, and Jensen grunted quietly; emptying the fish traps later today was going to be a pain in the ass.

He was about to follow the narrow path up to his house again when he spotted some movement near the dock, a flash of chestnut hair and tanned skin. Cocking his head, Jensen stood, dumbstruck, coffee mug clutched to his chest and breath hitching in his throat.

“Hello Jen-sen,” a shy voice greeted as the fisherman walked on the creaking panels of the dock and a head popped out of the waves. The look on the merman's face was still wary, but with a small and timid smile playing around his lush, pink lips he looked less startled than he had during all their previous meetings.

Suddenly conscious that he was only wearing a pair of worn boxer briefs and a ragged shirt under his bathrobe, Jensen hurriedly wrapped the coat tighter around himself before he waved awkwardly. “Hey Jared, nice to see you,” he stammered. The merman's unexpected presence had caught him thoroughly off-guard and with his heart hammering in his chest he slowly stepped closer to the dock's edge. “What brings you here so early in the morning? Couldn't sleep?”

The look in Jared's eyes changed from curious to confused and with his lips slightly parted he cocked his head.

“Oh, I, um... I'm sorry. I, um... Did you–“ Placing his mug on the weather-beaten wood of the dock, Jensen made a gesture that could be universally counted as _sleep_ – “sleep well? Wait, do you guys sleep at all?”

Jared seemed to consider his words for a moment before he nodded. “Yes,” he replied, voice soft. “S... sss... me, sleep.” Then he pointed downwards. For a moment, Jensen was caught by the sight of the gesture as long, slender fingers moved swiftly through the cool morning air, describing a tiny circle in front of the merman's face before following an invisible path down towards the sea's troubled surface.

Then Jensen smiled. “Good. That's good.” At a momentary loss of words and a lack of ideas what to start a conversation about , he decided to hesitantly hunker down instead.

Jared's smile deepened, dimples popping. “Jen-sen sss-sleep?”

“Yeah, I um... slept quite well, thanks,” Jensen mumbled, not mentioning the suffocating nightmare that had ridden him earlier. “I love falling asleep to the sound of the waves. Makes me think I'm floating.”

Jared didn't seem to understand if the confused look on his face was any indication, but he didn't insist on an explanation either, nodding slowly instead. He was hovering below the pier, his impressive body floating right beneath the surface, and the blinding morning light was painting golden reflections all across his chest. Tiny silver droplets clung to the man's long lashes, wafting chestnut hair framing his face as he looked up into the sky. Jensen knew that around this time of the year the water was freezing, but he couldn't stifle the longing moan as he watched the merman bobbing up and down in the tide.

And before he could help it, the “I envy you” blurted out of his mouth, hanging in the clear morning air.

Jared furrowed his brows. “Envi,” he repeated with a lazy roll of his tongue, a slight slur to his voice.

Jensen nodded. “Envy,” he said again, pointing on his chest. “I envy you. It means that I want to do what you do. Swimming all day and–“ he made the appropriate gestures according to his words in a desperate attempt to explain himself– “living in the water. The sea is my home, too.”

Jensen had to repeat his words and gestures two more times before something close to understanding dawned in the merman's foxy eyes and for a split second the look on his face turned sullen, lips pursed to a pout. “Jen-sen human.”

“Yeah, I know. But unfortunately that means being stuck on land forever, paying bills and working your ass off to maintain a tiny piece of paradise,” Jensen continued on a deep inhale.

The merman didn't reply, but kept studying Jensen's face, searching his features as if he was looking for a long lost treasure. After a moment of silence Jensen lifted his gaze to the horizon. Sighing, he flopped down on the dock, sitting cross-legged and watching the clouds mounting up dangerously.

“And considering my bad luck we're going to have a thunderstorm later and I'll have to empty the traps in the pouring rain.” Jensen gestured towards the horizon and the shoreline, right where he had set out the fish nets. “Fucking dangerous, that's what it is,” he added, muttering more to himself than anyone else.

With his lower lips tucked between his teeth, Jared perked up. “Da-nger-ou-s?” he repeated pointedly, a sharp hiss to the word as he tasted it on his tongue.

Jensen nodded, his eyes returning to the merman. Jared had propped himself up, only his face and shoulders poking out of the gunmetal-gray water. With his neck slightly craned, he exposed the soft column of his throat to the fisherman's hungry gaze and for a moment Jensen was stunned, mesmerized, eyes glued to the smooth skin he knew was so cool, almost silken, and tender to the touch.

“Yeah, uh, d-dangerous,” he heard himself stammering from what seemed like a hundred miles away, his voice raw in his own throat. Jared didn't even know what his slow blink did to Jensen, right? “It means I'm not, um, safe out there. It's not... good. Like when you were trapped, remember? That was dangerous, too. Dangerous for _you_.”

The look on Jared's face changed, turning stern. “Dang-erou-ssss for Jen-sen?” he spat. “No.” And with a swift motion of his tail he approached the dock, hands clutching the edge tight as he shook his head vigorously. “No. Jen-sen not safe, Jen stay.”

His gestures were agitated as he pointed to the man, to the shoreline, the beach, the house, before waving his huge paw towards the disturbed sea, making his whole body vibrate with the force as he shook his head.

Jensen felt a soft smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “It's all right, Jared,” he murmured quietly. “I'm gonna be okay, I promise.”

But the merman would have none of it and continued to protest instead, brows furrowed and hazel eyes clouded with– was that concern? His voice had lowered a few octaves and words in a foreign language bubbled out of his chest as he tried to make Jensen understand, make him _see_.

“But I have to do it, Jared. I need the money, I need... I don't... it's my job,” Jensen exclaimed after another rush of guttural noises and wild gestures. “It's not that I have a choice in the matter and I've done far worse. Remember when I rowed out in the thunderstorm?” he tried to joke, but Jared only scowled at him. His chest was heaving rapidly and with a hiss he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Jen-sen go, Jared come, too,” the merman stated, gaze skimming down Jensen's sitting form. The tips of his ears were now tinged pink, the sun-kissed skin of his cheeks flushed.

Dumbstruck, Jensen blinked. “You, um, want to come, too? And... _protect_ me?” he repeated slowly, like someone had smacked him right about the head.

Jared confirmed with a nod and a cooed “yes,” his head cocked and golden reflections dancing over his face.

The fisherman's chest constricted as if all the wind had suddenly been knocked out of his lungs and his heart raced up to his throat. “Okay,” he managed to croak out, heat rushing to his cheeks. “Wouldn't be the first time, right?”

The look on Jared's face remained grim for another two or three heartbeats before he let out a breath through parted lips, tension visibly bleeding out of his stiff composure until he was pliantly floating again. “Good,” he uttered. “Good. Jared save Jen-sen.”

“Yeah, you really do,” Jensen confirmed and with his eyes flitting towards his wristwatch he felt his face fall. “I need to go, Jared. Work isn't going to do itself and my car is– um, whatever...”

Jared seemed confused for a moment, at least until Jensen pointed at the house and himself before making a walking gesture with two of his fingers. Nodding, the small, timid smile back in place, the merman carefully leaned in. The pupils of his hazel eyes were blown, either from his outburst or the sudden closeness they shared, their faces only inches apart.

“Bye, Jen-sen,” he cooed. “Bye, Jen.” And then he plunged back down into the water, tail swishing and waves clashing together over chestnut hair before his body melted into the greenish-gray depths.

It took Jensen another five minutes to get to his feet and stagger towards his house, the taste of Jared's cool breath still lingering on his lips as he tumbled through the front door, knees weak and pulse sky-rocketing.

 ♦ 

The merman kept his promise.

Hair clinging to his forehead and limbs flailing out wide to steady himself in the ravenous waves, he appeared next to Jensen's side as soon as the fisherman stepped into the troubled waters later that day.

They greeted each other with a nod and a quiet smile and Jensen felt a spark of heat rush up his spine as he trudged forward, hands clutching knife and nets close to his chest.

Emptying the traps turned out to be way more complicated than Jensen had originally anticipated. With rain blurring his line of sight and soaking his slickers within the matter of minutes, he kept missing the positions and once he got hold of a trap, he had trouble opening it. It was almost 5pm and the bank of clouds looming over the horizon darkened the late afternoon, making Jensen curse inwardly for not bringing his flashlight this time.

With his fingers slipping and his vision graying out in the aftermath of every crude flash of lighting, it took Jensen about an hour to work two of the traps open and transfer the catch into his rubber backpack. The weather really was a son of a bitch these days and the fisherman was struggling with the third net when the blade in his hands suddenly slipped, misguided by water and too much force Jensen was laying into the swipe. It was originally aimed at one of the straps but drove into Jensen's hand instead, burying its pointy end in the soft flesh of his palm, drawing blood.

“Shit,” Jensen cursed, pushing the knife into its sheath and dropping the trap immediately. A sharp pain jolted through his nerves, sparking agony and punching the air out of his lungs. Pressing a thumb against the gash to staunch the blood flow, Jensen ground his teeth.

Okay, that was it. The last fucking straw. He quit. Someone else could do this shit, he was out for tonight. No longer available. Fucking _done_.

“Jen-sen,” a familiar voice wrenched Jensen away from his anger. “Jen, hurt?”

Turning around, Jensen spotted the merman only a few feet away from him, keeping himself upright with powerful strokes of his tail as he balanced his body in the waves. His eyes were just as troubled as the open sea and bewilderment bloomed on his face, grief threatening to overshadow his beautiful features.

“'S okay, Jared,” Jensen tried to reassure him as he stepped closer unconsciously, feet suddenly heavy against the sandy ground. “Just a scratch.”

The merman didn't move away as Jensen approached, moving even closer instead, the look on his face almost furious.

“Show me,” he spoke, demanded, and stopped only mere inches in front of the fisherman. “Show me... blood.”

Nodding, Jensen hesitantly extended his hand to the merman, shivering when Jared's intense gaze felt like the ghost of a touch, caressing the edges of raw flesh around the aching wound.

Blood welled up from the center of Jensen's palm, blocked the view and the look on Jared's face was almost pleading as he looked up again, an unspoken question lingering in his gaze.

“Y-You can touch,” Jensen blurted out without giving second thoughts, his mind reeling and amidst the raging thunderstorm, in the pelting rain, surrounded chest deep by hissing water, he finally felt safe again.

Nodding earnestly, Jared inched even closer and with his eyes narrowed he reached out for the slightly shaking palm in front of him. “Goo,” he cooed as he started swiping away the slick blood with cool, soft fingertips, his touch ever so gentle. “Hurt bad?”

Jensen felt himself tremble -fucking _quiver_ , goddamn- and with a quiet grunt he shook his head. “'S not too bad, I've had worse.”

Confusion painted itself all over Jared's face and Jensen tried again with a simple “no,” accompanied by a small shake of his head.

“Good,” Jared replied softly, his other hand coming up to cup the back of Jensen's fingers, steadying the wounded limb as he took another close look. “Not deep,” he confirmed after a few seconds of silent inspection.

“How did you know?”

Jared's eyes wandered up again until they locked with the fisherman's. Head cocked, he shrugged with the lack of understanding.

Jensen gulped. “I mean how did you know I was hurt? You didn't see it, did you? You were way over there and... the rain. I mean it's not–“

“Blood,” Jared cut in. “Red blood is... sharp. Smells.”

Up close, Jensen could see the myriad of impossible colors swirling in Jared's eyes: smooth honey-gold and vibrant hazelnut brown fanning around the black center, spiked with edges of gray and idly circled by the tantalizing color of the sea, greenish-blue curling thickly in the depths.

“So good sense of smell, huh?” Jensen babbled, gaping at the sight of Jared's face so close to his, every inch of cool, wet skin a sweet invitation. “Is that a merman thing?”

Jared only shrugged in response before he once again dropped his gaze to the burning gash on Jensen's hand. “Jen-sen okay,” he spoke softly, eyeing the wound intently, his gentle grip slowly loosening as he let go of the human. “Okay?”

“Yeah, I'm okay,” Jensen murmured, whining low in his throat as he lost Jared's touch.

There was a beat of silence where neither of them moved, only the deafening thunder rolling in the distance. Afraid to startle the merman, Jensen was rooted to the spot and only his slowly heaving chest gave away the wildfire raging inside his body, scorching him alive amidst the freezing cold salt-water.

“Jen okay, Jared okay,” Jared cooed quietly, his nose scrunching up slightly as he breathed out through parted lips. He was otherwordly beautiful.

“We're both okay,” Jensen confirmed, licking the taste of salt and rain and the ghost of Jared's breath from his lips. “I, um, probably should go and patch this up... maybe.”

This time Jared seemed to understand him on the first try. Nodding, he gave a small jerk with his tail and was out of reach within the blink of an eye. “You hurt, go now.” And he gave a small wave, eyes once again darting to the bleeding wound with a worried look blossoming on his face.

Jensen sighed. “Will you be here again tomorrow?” He raised his voice over the hissing of the approaching storm.

“Yes,” Jared's features blurred with the down-pouring rain, but Jensen saw the small smile reappearing, dimples popping and lips stretching over a row of pearly white teeth. “Bye, Jen-sen.”

Jensen didn't have the chance to return the goodbye, for Jared had already vanished between the raging waves a split second later, so he decided to return to the shoreline and get ready for his night job. Apparently there was a life existing outside of the gentle curve of the merman's thick eyelashes and the planes of his sleek muscles. Go figure.

 ♦ 

As expected, the night was slow and uneventful and Jensen spent most of it thinking about ways to improve the communication between the merman and himself. He started to do some research on the ancient computer behind the museum's counter, but soon his palm started to throb and sting from the typing so Jensen filed the idea for later and returned to sweet idleness for the rest of night.

Fog was nesting in the bay area when he pulled into his driveway in the early morning hours. His mind was slow with sleepiness and his brain filled with a sluggish haze, but he forced himself out of the car's cozy warmth and down the slippery path to the dock just to find a surprise waiting for him on the salt-drenched planks.

“What the...” he murmured to himself as he approached a rather big pile of dead fish. “How did you get here?” Brows furrowed he grabbed one of the silvery fish, sniffing the cool scales. They were fresh, probably not even half an hour out of the water, and of the best quality. Their bodies were thick, properly fed from living in the open sea and not in one of the fish farms like down in Seattle. Their skin was thin, the gills still tinged pink and their gaping mouths showed no marks of a hook. None of their fins were ripped off as sometimes happened when working with a drag net– which led to only one conclusion: those fish were hand-caught. And apparently by someone with damn skilled fingers if the cleanly broken spines were any indication.

Jensen gasped. “Jared?” he sputtered out quietly, a little louder when there was no response.

“Jared are you here? Please tell me you're here because this is... pretty damn amazing,” the fisherman rambled on into the silence, fingers still clutching a handful of fresh fish. “I mean I can probably sell them for double the price, Jared. These are... beautiful. Jared?”

But the merman didn't show up, not even when Jensen yelled his name loud enough to startle a flock of angrily cawing seagulls from their nests on top of the crates, and after a bunch of futile attempts Jensen decided to go and get those bad boys sold as long as they were fresh, fatigue or not.

“See you later,” he mumbled before he left and something close to disappointment settled inside his chest when he once again was greeted with silence, only the waves gently lapping the shoreline.

Jensen had been right about the price and a jolt of relief rushed over him as he received a thick bundle of bills from Chad's father in exchange for the fish. It was enough money to pay his next taxes and get his Jeep the much needed general inspection. And if he was lucky enough he'd maybe have some change left to start saving for a new boat.

But first of all he needed a decent sleep and when he stumbled through his front door half an hour later, he didn't even bother to shrug out of his jacket before crashing face first onto his sofa.

 ♦ 

After six hours of being sound asleep and snuggling the pillows, Jensen awoke around noon to the sound of his cell phone ringing in the depths of his pockets. With a groan he fumbled for the damned thing, smiling at the name flashing on the screen to the rhythm of the classic rock song.

“Dani?” Jensen grunted as he picked up, voice still slurry.

“Why didn't you tell me, you giant dweeb?” Danneel's voice rung through the speaker, startling Jensen out of his post-slumber haze.

He shrugged before realizing that the woman couldn't see him. “Tell you what exactly?”

“That you had an accident of course. I'm–“

“I had an accident,” Jensen cut in quickly, grunting as he straightened up to search his fridge for something to quell the rumbling in his stomach.

“Oh no, you asshole, you're not pulling that on me,” Danneel replied with a gasp and from the hitch in her voice Jensen could tell that she had to bite back a smile. “What happened? How are you doing?”

“'M good, just a little less enthusiastic about thunderstorms and one job short.” Jensen spoke truthfully and grabbed a bunch of ingredients for a rather healthy sandwich, placing them on a counter.

Danneel coughed. “That's all?” she quipped, tapping a pen against her desk like she always did when she was anxious or annoyed.

“Pretty much. It was no big deal, really. My boat capsized, but I wasn't far from the shore... so I swam back. I hit my head a little on the way and fell asleep on the beach, but it–“

The woman's voice was warm when she cut in. “No, it's not fine, Jensen. It's terrible and I was worried sick when Sophia told me earlier. You were always one to put yourself in danger, but this is a whole new level of stupid, honey. Even for you.” She paused briefly, shuffling papers around. “I want to see you, can I see you? To make sure you're really okay?”

Jensen groaned silently, rubbing his hand over his eyes before he remembered the still fresh cut on his hand. Hissing he pulled away, palm throbbing. “I'm, um, pretty worn out from the night shift, uh...”

“Tomorrow then?” Danneel insisted and Jensen knew that there was no getting out of this. Danneel was a smart, strong-headed woman who twelve out of ten times got what she wanted.

“How about dinner on Wednesday? Turns out I have some spare time after crashing my boat during a thunderstorm like a fucking greenhorn,” he suggested after eyeing his schedule warily for a few seconds. “You could come over and–“

“Can I bring someone?” Danneel cut in, voice suddenly timid.

Jensen's eyebrows shot upwards. “Sure,” he agreed, then smiled into the speaker. “As long as it's not that bodybuilder-thug you tried to hook up with last time we went out together I'm good.”

A nervous chuckled erupted from the woman's chest. “No, god no. It's... anyway, I'm sure it's going to be a nice evening.”

“Bring salad.”

“Aye, Sir,” Danneel joked, laughing breathily before she continued in a soft voice. “I'm glad you're okay and in one piece, Jensen. I was worried sick. You're way too reckless for your own good and one day I'll punch you right into your beautiful face for scaring the shit out of me, you hear me?”

Jensen smiled. “I know, Dani. See you on Wednesday, seven o'clock sharp.” And with a sigh he clicked the phone shut, busying himself with the sandwich instead.

 ♦ 

Jensen managed to stay away from the dock for another hour before he got up to shimmy into his favorite jeans and sweater and walked to down to the water again.

The sun was still hanging in the sky, if pale and sickly yellowish between the thick, powder gray clouds, looking like an empty plate. The cold air smelled of rotten tang and Jensen scrunched his nose a bit as he wandered down the familiar path, dodging puddles and finding the dock dry enough to sit down on the edge of the planks.

“Jared?” he asked into the silence and almost fell off the rim as a body came rushing out of the calm water right in front of him, long arms failing out wide in a way of greeting.

“H-Hello Jen-sen,” the merman burst out, dimples carved into his cheeks and the corners of his eyes crinkling with the blinding smile he was sporting. His eyes seemed to spark with fire, dazzling gold and translucent green swirling around his blown pupils and the cold water had tinged his lips coral red.

Jensen swallowed hard. “Hey there, Jared. Did you have a good day?”

Nodding enthusiastically Jared trailed closer until he could hold on to the edge of the dock, fingers only inches away from Jensen's boots. “Jen-sen see fish?”

The embarrassment of actually needing a reminder of the generous present came in a rush of heat and Jensen could feel his cheeks flushing as he nodded, gaze dropping. “Yeah, oh god yeah, I did. I found them in the morning. It was you, right?”

Jared nodded again, his chest swelling with pride and his tail wiggling beneath the cold surface. “For Jen-sen.” Then his face fell as quickly as the weather changed on the sea, his eyes going dark. “You still hurt?”

“I... no, it's all right. I'm just a bit of a moron and keep forgetting about it.” Jensen explained, extending the bandaged hand to Jared. Remembering the almost furious look on Jared's face the evening before, Jensen decided to reassure the merman again. “See? I patched it up, it's all fine.”

“No blood?” Jared asked as he ducked his head to get a better view from all the different angles, cautiously eyeing the cloth wrapped around Jensen's palm. It seemed to be a foreign concept for him to bandage something and of course, how could he know?

“The bandage–“ Jensen tapped lightly against the fabric– “will help heal the wound. It's protecting it. It's gonna be okay again very soon.”

Jared made a quiet noise in the back of his throat before lifting his hand from the dock and carefully cupping Jensen's fingers, cradling it in his own palm. “No blood, no hurt,” he mumbled, focused on inspecting the weird cloth, even sniffing it and inspecting the wound to his heart's content for a good five minutes before he seemingly decided to approve.

“No blood, no hurt, Jen-sen okay,” he repeated and the smile returned to his face, lighting up his features like the sun coming up in the middle of a bitter cold winter night. “Jared okay, too.”

Jensen, momentarily stunned by the soft, tentative touches, managed to return the smile, though his was less blinding and more crooked. “Thanks, buddy,” he mumbled breathily as he watched the merman's body start to bounce up and down again in the water. “For the fish of course, you really saved me there. And for the... you know... for watching out for me.”

Jared cocked his head as he listened carefully, his eyes clinging to Jensen's lips as if he tried to read the words from the plush flesh, his golden skin glowing warmly in the light of the sinking sun. “Fish good?” he asked after a few beats of silence. “Jen eat?”

Jensen shook his head. “No, I didn't. I'm sorry, I had to sell it.”

The noise catching in Jared's throat was something between a grunt and a coo and Jensen decided to not to elaborate, sitting back with a sigh instead and ignoring the strange feeling that nestled in his stomach.

They watched the sun's descent in companionable silence, nothing but the wind bristling in the crates and the waves' gurgling sounds interrupting the peace. Jensen eventually spread out on the dock, back against the wood, eyes fluttering closed in the cold breeze. And that's how they stayed until the sky covered its face with puffy clouds, Jensen sprawled out of the planks and Jared floating right below him, tail moving lazily to keep him up and close to the human's body heat.

It was when the breeze turned sharp and unpleasant that Jensen had to retreat into the warmth of his house and his chest was tight when he waved the merman goodbye, their eyes meeting briefly in the fuzzy half-light before Jared submerged. It was only September now, but winter would be here soon and with Jensen's bad luck snow would come early, bringing frost and ice, freezing the bay over. And what then? Would it mean the end of their unlikely friendship already?

The thought pulled a low whine from Jensen's chest and swallowing down the lump that threatened to form in his throat, he followed the path up towards his home, heart heavy with longing and palm throbbing where Jared's fingers had burned his skin.


	5. Chapter 5

Danneel's dinner date turned out to be a fragile woman with dark hair and full lips, eyes wide and shining in a rich, vibrant chocolate brown as she shook Jensen's hand with a firm grip.

“Genevieve,” she introduced herself, her smile sweet and innocent. “I'm a friend of Dani's.”

Jensen couldn't help but return the grin, winking as he swallowed down the surprise that blossomed in his chest. “So I've heard,” he countered. He didn't know what to make of this yet, but the breeze was sharp and stung as it tore its teeth into the bare skin of the fisherman's forearms. His questions could wait. “Come on in, ladies, make yourself at home while I take a look at the lasagna, yeah?”

Pulling Jensen into a firm hug before smacking a wet kiss on his cheek, Danneel strolled through the front door that was formerly her own, dropping her coat with a sigh. “It's awfully cold out here, Jen. I don't know how you stand it.”

“Training, Dani,” Jensen replied from the kitchen counter where he was busy stuffing his hands into the thick oven mitts his mom had bought him. “And sheer, manly willpower.”

“Yeah, sure,” Danneel scoffed, placing a salad bowl on the table before flopping down on the sofa, breathing in. After all these years, it was still weird for her to come back to the house where they had once lived together, Jensen knew that. But she was tough and neither of them had ever regretted their decision to get a divorce.

The girls were huddled up on the sofa when Jensen placed the sizzling lasagna pan on the table.

“Dinner's ready, ladies,” he called into the comfortable silence of the living room, only the storm howling around the corners of the small cottage.

Getting up gracefully, Danneel sniffed the air before slinging an arm around Jensen's waist. “It smells lovely, darling. Mommy Donna's recipe?”

“Pretty much; just made a few tweaks. Only the best for my two gorgeous guests,” Jensen explained as he pulled out a chair from under the table, offering it to Genevieve who sat down gently. She seemed relaxed, no sign of irritation on her beautiful, open face.

Sitting down herself, Danneel leaned over to her friend, whispering conspirationally. “Don't let yourself be fooled by his pretty face, Gen, he's a menace.” Both women laughed at that and after Jensen's futile attempt to kick Danneel's shin they started digging into the steaming hot lasagna.

Dinner was great. With the women chattering about everything and nothing, the meal being delicious and the rich, red wine rinsing softly down their dry throats, time went on quickly and soon they moved from the table to the more comfortable living room area. Jensen lit a fire in the open chimney and the radio was chiming in the corner, playing one Classic Rock song after another. The weather was still nasty, but inside the cottage and huddled up next to each other, neither the women nor Jensen could be bothered.

Three bottles of wine in and four hours later, the conversation finally died down and Genevieve yawned heartily, making Danneel laugh.

“Wanna go home, sleepyhead?” she asked, nudging her drowsy friend with her shoulder. Pleasantly buzzed and light-headed from the wine and the talking, Gen let Danneel brush her soft ebony hair out of her face before nodding slowly.

“Just a little more,” she slurred, sounding adorably exhausted and Jensen smiled to himself. Genevieve was sweet and, just like Danneel, tremendously gorgeous. During the events of the evening her tentative shyness had been replaced by cutting wit and her comments and stories had proven a razor-sharp mind as well as a good-natured sense of humor.

“Okay you two lovebirds, I'm gonna be useful and do the dishes. There's more wine and snacks in the cupboard over there. If you're too tired later you can crash here, I don't mind.”

Danneel's smile was bright and dazzling as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Jen, honey, why did I ever let you go?”

Piling dirty plates and the empty frying pan in his arms, Jensen shot her a wink. “Because I'm an insufferable idiot and you need someone who can keep up with you.” With his free hand he made a vague gesture towards the yawning Genevieve before wandering off into the kitchen, flooding the sink.

Jensen was about halfway through with the dishes when Danneel joined him in the kitchen. Getting a fresh towel from the cupboard, she grabbed a handful of cutlery.

“Gen's asleep,” she said quietly, her eyes darting over the counter and towards the form of the resting woman on the sofa. “What do you think about her?”

Jensen took a few moments to consider his reply, replaying the evening in his head. He let silence stretch between them and by the time he put the last plate on the rack, Danneel seemed a little nervous. Her cheeks flushed from the alcohol, she bit her bottom lip, brushing her long, auburn mane out of her face every so often.

“You know I love you Dani,” Jensen began in a serious tone after putting the cloth away, stepping a little closer to his friend. “And I don't want to lie to you, so–”

“Yes?” Danneel's voice was small and timid and so unlike her it made Jensen's heart melt, the smile around his lips softening.

“So I think you should keep her.”

Eyes going wide, Danneel dropped the towel to land a hard punch on her ex-husband's shoulder. “You jerk, I thought you were gonna say... ugh, I hate you!”

“No you don't,” Jensen countered as he rubbed the pounding pain in his muscle away. “And I really like her. She's smart; she'll give you hell. I like that thought.”

“Ass.”

“She makes you happy, and that's all that matters to me. I haven't seen you smile like that in quite a while.”

Wrapping her arms around Jensen's waist, Danneel pulled him into a firm embrace. “Last time when we were dancing on our wedding day, Jen,” she whispered, her voice slightly slurred from the heavy red wine. She smelled great, like sweet perfume and clean skin and the fireplace she had been sitting next to.

Pulling away reluctantly, Jensen dropped a kiss on the woman's forehead. “I know.”

“I love you, you great, big sap.”

“Takes one to know one, Dani,” Jensen replied and squeezed her shoulders one last time before letting go, draining the sink and throwing the towel into the laundry bucket.

“We're not that far, though. We just met, want to take it slow.”

Jensen nodded, contemplating. “Did you take her out on a date? I mean a proper one, not semi-edible salad and fantastic lasagna at your ex-husband's house?”

“Well, duh. Dating rule number one, Smarty-pants. Besides my salad was delicious, you just don't know what's good, you cretin.”

Jensen laughed at that, not too loud to keep from startling his guest, but heartily and with his shoulders vibrating with mirth.

“So, you gonna stay for the night? You can have the upstairs bedroom,” he offered generously after having found his breath again. He consciously skipped the part where he still didn't sleep in the big, empty bed and curled up on the sofa night after night instead.

Wandering off into the living area, Danneel gently put her hand on Genevieve's shoulder. ”No, it's fine. I called a taxi before I came to help. Gen has a meeting tomorrow at eight.”

“Wow, that's gonna be one hell of a short night,” Jensen mused as he watched the fragile woman on his sofa stretch and yawn, her shiny black hair an adorable mess and her lips swollen from sleep. She looked utterly gorgeous.

“'M used to it,” she muttered under her breath before letting herself be pulled to her feet by Danneel just in time as they heard the gravel crunch in the driveway under two pairs of tires.

The air was still biting cold and the breeze stiff when Jensen opened the front door.

“Thank you so much for your hostility and the great dinner, Jensen,” Genevieve said as she rose to her tiptoes to pull the man into a short but firm embrace.

Surprised, Jensen returned the unexpected gesture with a smile. “Any time, Genevieve. Danneel's friends are my friends, too and I'd love to see your face around here again.”

Nodding, Gen disentangled herself from the tall man. “It'd be my pleasure.” With that she staggered outside and into the cold.

“Yep, definitely. She's a keeper,” Jensen mused as he watched the fragile brunette go and before flipping a finger against Danneel's nose. “Don't you fuck this up, munchkin.”

“Shut up, you nerd. I hate that name.”

They both laughed at that, hugged, and Danneel was already on her way out when she turned around one more time. “You will be okay, Jen? I mean with the accident and being... all on your own out here?”

“Yeah, I'm good.”

Smiling sweetly, Danneel grabbed the door knob. “I thought so, tough guy.” And after blowing him a kiss, she left through the front door just like she had four years ago, only this time Jensen's heart was much lighter and his skin was humming with wine and exhaustion.

 ♦ 

The following week happened in a blur. Work, sleep and the cold water of the ocean sloshing around Jensen's boots, it all blended into one and time seemed to run out on Jensen, never quite enough hours left to spend down at the dock where Jared was waiting for him everyday.

The merman was there in the early mornings when Jensen came down with a mug full of coffee, sleep lines running down his cheeks and hair disheveled from the pillow. He loomed under the wooden planks of the pier when Jensen checked on the fish traps in the afternoon, waited for him in the cold evenings and even in the middle of the night he brightened the darkness with his brilliant smile whenever Jensen, robbed of sleep, was wandering the beach.

It became somewhat their ritual: hanging around the dock, watching the gentle swell and withdrawal of the ocean. Sometimes Jensen would talk, tell Jared about his day, explain things he wasn't even sure the merman had any clue of. But Jared would listen quietly, eyes wide and focused solely on Jensen. His lips were dusty pink in the mornings and coral red in the evenings, his hair chestnut colored and glossy once it had dried on the dock. Jared was all wonder and dimples when he listened to Jensen, cooing softly in the back of his throat whenever Jensen returned his wide smiles.

But most of the time they were silent, just the two of them, listening to the hectic chatter of the seagulls and relishing each other's gentle presence.

It was a Monday when Jensen woke up to the sound of the radio and after two minutes of content listening to Zep, the music faded into the weather forecast. That was when the smooth voice of the radio host announced a huge snow front coming down from Canada. Feeling his stomach plummet, Jensen rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before checking the weather app on his phone, a stupid but necessary tool.

“Fuck,” he muttered as the screen flashed white, confirming the woman's words. They were expecting heavy snowfall during the night, almost four inches, and there was a warning for stormy weather. For Jensen that meant he had to turn the traps in today for good, fix a few last things around the house and –and that was the worst– thinking about saying good-bye to Jared soon. There was no use pushing the subject away anymore; who was he trying to fool anyway? Himself? Or the merman who waited for him day after day to listen to his stupid stories, sending his heart fluttering and his mind reeling?

It was October now and November was on the rise, which usually meant bad weather and storm floods up until the middle of the month. Judging from the previous years, that was when the bay froze over for the first time of the year, a thick crust of ice layering the gurgling waves. Spreading widely, the ice would stay until the middle of February and bring almost three months of utter silence for Jensen, keeping him from seeking out the waves and their soothing lullaby. It was a goddamn tragedy, and with a sigh Jensen hauled himself up to get ready for the day.

He told Jared later that day about the weather forecast, using his hands and feet to underlay his words. It worked, and after watching with wide eyes, Jared's face fell and the corners of his wet mouth turned down. He was floating close by, his hands clasped around the edge of the dock, and his hair was wet, tousled and sprinkled with bits of shells and water plants.

“Jared know,” he muttered after a while, frowning towards the horizon and the cotton-soft, white clouds looming there. “Get cold, Jared needs to go... down.”

Jensen nodded. “You have to go deeper into the ocean or you'll freeze to death, huh?” he assumed, sitting down on the cold, damp wood of the dock. It was only four o'clock and the sky was already growing dark.

A quiet grunt was Jared's sole reply and they lapsed back into eerie silence, their hands only inches apart on the weather-beaten planks, their bodies relaxing in the pleasant quietness as the threatening wall of clouds inched steadily closer.

 ♦ 

Two weeks later, Jensen stepped outside through his front door only to find the world turned white. Dusting the crates with soft, powdery snow and glazing the gravel with shiny ice, winter had finally made its first appearance and Jensen felt his heart stutter. The weather had been nasty throughout the last week, the air spiked with an icy bite and the mist thick and wet every morning when Jensen had made his way down to the waters. Rain had blended into slush during the nights, making the paths around the cottage slippery and treacherous and the bed of clouds that was omnipresent above the sharp grates had been like a dark prophecy.

And today, on the 5th of November, the cold season had found its way into the bay area and Jensen felt a thick knot of despair coil in his guts.

Jared was already waiting for him when Jensen climbed down the slick path six hours later. The fisherman's nose was buried in a soft scarf and he had a beanie pulled securely over his ears. The wind was frigid and in spite of the two layers beneath his slickers, Jensen winced as he stepped into the gurgling water.

“Heya Jay,” he greeted lamely when the merman popped his head out of the waves with a curious look on his face and his brows furrowed.

“No Jen, water too cold,” he yelled from where he was bobbing up and down with the lazy tide. “Jen-sen human.”

Biting his teeth, Jensen nodded as he kept on trudging through the water, his toes and calves already numb and aching from the freezing cold water. It felt like a million pinpricks biting into his skin, tearing away at the soft flesh and down to the marrow of his bones. But today Jensen was on a mission and he didn't stop until he was only mere feet away from Jared. His chapped lips curled into a sad smile.

“Bad news, buddy,” he said, barely loud enough to drown the soft mutter of the sea. “Gotta say goodbye today.”

Jensen could see the disappointment and grief tinging Jared's features the moment he spoke the words, the merman's expression mirroring Jensen's.

“I know,” Jared replied after a few beats of silence, a small tremor running through his body as he lazily waved his tail, bringing them closer together. He was beautiful, hair damp and clinging to his forehead, his lips slightly parted on a sigh and those wondrous, hazel eyes fixed on the fisherman's half-hidden face.

Jensen could see the twitch of smooth muscles beneath Jared's golden skin and the thought of having to relinquish the merman's presence for the upcoming winter made him choke on his breath. “Are you gonna be okay down there?”

Nodding slowly, Jared came a little closer still, until their bodies were only mere inches from each other and completely in reach to touch and lean in, to kiss and caress and trail lazy hands down slim flanks.

“Jared okay. Jen-sen? Cold?” Jared replied firmly, his cool breath ghosting over Jensen's cheeks.

“Yeah, it's gonna be cold this year, but I'll manage. It's not my first winter out here and I know how to make a fire. I'll be... fine.”

They both knew it was a lie, and when Jensen lifted his hand to cup Jared's cheek, the merman didn't shy away from the gentle touch. To the contrary, he pushed his face into Jensen's hand, nuzzling the palm and relishing the warmth, cooing softly. His eyes fluttered shut in pleasure as he dragged his cool, smooth lips over Jensen's rough skin, their touch like a sweet, chaste kiss.

“I'm gonna miss you, Jay,” Jensen managed to choked out between gritted teeth, licking his lips as he wrenched the scarf away from his face. “I'm gonna... gonna...”

Jared didn't stop nuzzling Jensen's palm when he replied, his head tilted to the side, damp hair curling against Jensen's skin. “Jared miss Jen-sen, look for him all the time.”

“Don't Jay, please. It's dangerous. Once the bay area is glazed over the water temperature will fall drastically and if you get stuck between the floating ice, you could die from the cold,” Jensen's voice almost broke at the thought of finding Jared's dead body washed to the beach in spring like flotsam.

“But–“

Bringing his other hand up, Jensen interrupted the merman gently by cradling his face between his warm palms. “No, Jared. I don't wanna argue about it. You gotta go to where you're safe so we can see each other again in spring, you hear me? Stay away from the bay during the winter. Promise me.”

Popping those foxy eyes open, Jared's gaze searched for Jensen's, holding on to it firmly as he nodded. “Pro-mise,” he slurred, hissing the _s_ like he always did.

Without even noticing, Jensen's thumbs had started to brush against Jared's cheeks, the rough pads of his fingers tracing small circles against the cool, sun-kissed skin. “I don't wanna go, Jay. Not ever.”

Jared made a little cooing noise in response as he chased the tender touches, sighing quietly, his breath coming in short gasps. He didn't seem to mind the biting cold that was eating away at Jensen's skin, that made the fisherman shudder beneath his slickers and sending goosebumps violently up and down his spine.

But Jensen didn't want this to end, wanted it to last, and he couldn't find the strength to let go just yet. Taking a deep inhale, he swallowed a painful whimper and focused on Jared instead, the way he was yielding against Jensen's palms, basking in the warmth of the inked skin, lips trailing along every finger, every knuckle, every faded scar and the barely healed cut in the center of Jensen's hand.

“God Jay, I don't wanna go,” Jensen mumbled as Jared drew a hasty breath. “I can't...”

The merman's eyes were wide and troubled by sorrow as he caught Jensen's stare, the corners of his lips tugging into a sad little smile. “Have to. Jen cold, Jen human. Not... not like Jay,” he explained and wiggled his long, swishy tail before clasping a pair of wet, slender fingers around Jensen's wrists. “Go Jen-sen, Jared wait.”

“You'll still be here when I come back in spring?”

Nodding firmly and with determination burning in the swirling depths of his eyes, Jared pulled the fisherman's hands from his cheeks. “Pro-mise, Jen. Wait until you back. Not going any... any– ”

“Anywhere, yeah,” Jensen finished, as Jared seemed to have troubles getting the words out. “Thank you, Jay. For everything. You saved me.”

“Yes, Jared save Jen-sen. Jen-sen save Jared. Friends now.” Jared whispered as he turned Jensen's palms towards the sky before leaning in to drop a soft, tentative kiss on each hand. His lips felt smooth and silken, plush, and everything Jensen had imagined them to be. It was perfect, Jared was perfect, and Jensen couldn't help but let out a soft, contented moan at the memory of feeling that mouth against his own.

“Go now, Jen. Be warm again, freezing no good,” Jared muttered as he straightened up again, his eyes sad and his long lashes fluttering against his cheeks as he looked down. “Miss you, Jen-sen. See you in s-spring.”

“Yeah Jay, see you in spring. I... you, um... Goodbye Jared,” Jensen replied with a voice so thick and his throat clogged with a lump of grief and regret. Turning around and letting go had never felt so heavy and Jensen didn't fight the hot, wet tears that streamed down his cheeks unchecked as he trudged back through the frigid water.

Jensen didn't look back again because he didn't trust himself, but later when he lay in the sheets, eyes fixed on the ceiling, he could still feel Jared's lips on his palms and it took every inch of strength inside his body not to return to the docks and swim until Jared found him.

 ♦ 

Much to Jensen's dismay, the weather forecast had been precise and when he looked over the bay the next morning, the water was glazed over and a thin layer of frost coated the windows of his cottage. The air smelled like salt and frost and Jensen had to swallow a few times to get rid of the thick lump in his throat, his treacherous heart pounding wildly and reminding him of the painful loss of sunshine in his situation. Both literally and metaphorically.

But life went on and after tons of snow, dangerous car rides on frosted streets and an ice storm of epic proportions at the beginning of December, Christmas was right around the corner and Jensen got ready to leave his house for the holidays to see his parents in Seattle. He was about to check the windows and the shed in the backyard one last time before heading out, when his gaze grazed the snowbound path down to the docks, his footsteps from five days ago long gone and powdered over. He hadn't been down there often, for there was nothing to see or do. The bay had remained a field of cold, sharp ice and the silence was haunting. Without the soft whisper of the waves and the sound of the wind curling the waters, the ocean seemed hollow and the occasional loud crack that ran through the ice sounded almost wailing in the eerie quietness.

The time he usually spent on or in the water, he now passed in front of his laptop, browsing through endless pages of mythology and fairy tales. Trying to separate myth from reality had turned out to be the biggest challenge and over the weeks he had come up with a quite impressive list of truths and lies. A third column in his table was left open for all the things he wasn't too sure about and soon the lines were filled with questions, suggestions and half-done sentences. He had found a few promising sources for merfolk-culture and a single page that tried to deal with their complex language. Bookmarking everything even remotely useful, Jensen filled his evenings with research and idle scrolling, his heart always aching and his dreams haunted by the emptiness he could feel beneath his rib cage during the waking hours.

Sighing loudly, Jensen turned to the car, dropped his duffel bag in the backseat and slipped behind the steering wheel. The time with his parents would distract him from his pining and he was thrilled to see Donna and Alan after almost an entire year without them. His sister Mackenzie and her little family would come up too, and around Jensen's little niece and nephew, the days rarely got boring.

He would be okay, just like he had promised.

 ♦ 

Christmas came and went within the blink of an eye it seemed, and after one and a half weeks with his parents, Jensen felt the familiar buzz tingling beneath his skin. Two days later the city walls seemed to narrow down on Jensen, suffocating him, making him squirm in his too-tight skin, and after another sleepless night in his parent's guestroom he announced his trip home for the upcoming Saturday. With his sister and her kids staying over New Year's Eve, his parents would be pleasantly busy and not miss him too much, after all.

“Drive safe,” his dad told him when they hugged their goodbyes.

“And don't forget to give Dani the Christmas cookies the girls and I made for her, son,” Donna said and folded her oldest into another tight embrace, smacking kisses on his cheeks. “It was so nice to have you over. Come around again, soon. I love you.”

“Love you, too, Mom.” And after having hugged every family member at least twice, Jensen got in the car and waved his loved ones goodbye. While pulling out of the driveway, he felt a sharp twinge inside his chest, but the call of the ocean – _his_ ocean– was like a siren's song to him, and he left the city with a sigh on his lips, finally breathing freely again.

New Year's Eve was uneventful, just how Jensen liked it. He had run some errands earlier in town, had dropped by Danneel's place to exchange the usual greetings and well-wishes and was surprised to find a coughing Genevieve on the threshold, wearing one of Dani's over-sized sweaters and wiping her red nose with a tissue. He had hugged and kissed both women, not minding Gen's tacky skin, and wished them all the best before going to see Chad in the office.

Tom had come over for a few hours in the afternoon, talking about his new job and new house and new girlfriend and looking genuinely happy and content with his life. They had had a couple of beers, had laughed and played cards until Tom had to leave for a glamorous party elsewhere.

Jensen didn't mind the loneliness his friend had left him with and opening himself another beer and cranking up the radio's volume, he settled in for a long night full of research in front of his laptop, snacks and candies within reach – just in case. Typing and reading away, evening turned into night and only at the sound of the fireworks from the nearby town Jensen looked up and out the window, his eyes roaming the horizon and his heart squeezing painfully. He wondered if Jared had ever seen the night sky lit by hundreds of red, white, green and blue sparks.

 ♦ 

Jensen made good progress with his research and in the second week of January he finally got his hands on thr phone number of a man who called himself 'mythologist and merfolk-expert'. Curious and with a healthy amount of skepticism in his back pocket, Jensen dialed and was disappointed to find himself connected to an old lady, telling him that Mr. Collins had moved away long ago and no, she didn't know his current address.

Cursing under his breath, Jensen dropped the phone and padded into the living room, slumping down on the sofa. Two months. It had been almost two months without Jared by now and Jensen could barely feel himself anymore. Doing research kept him busy, but unfortunately Mr. Collins had been his only promising lead. With him off the board, the work of three entire weeks was all for nothing and slowly but deliberately Jensen started to doubt his own mind. What if mermen were just fairy tales after all? What if he was going crazy? What if Jared was just a product of Jensen's desires? What if... what if the beautiful merman with the dimpled smile wasn't even real?

In the beginning of February the weather finally started to change. It hadn't snowed in a week and the sky blazoned itself with a pale, weak sun every so often. The clouds had changed from their usual cotton-soft white to a gunmetal-gray and the temperatures didn't drop into ungodly depths anymore, at least during the day. Jensen hadn't touched his laptop for weeks, feeling weary and robbed of all strength. He was aching, hurting, and every evening when the darkness crept inside his cottage he fell into cruel nightmares, waking trembling and drenched in sweat more often than he cared to admit. His chest seemed to have fallen silent weeks ago and there was something hot and thick coiling in his stomach, making him sick and jittery.

Days came and went, but life seemed to have lost every color, every taste, and everything smelled the same to Jensen. His constant headache was unnerving and when he woke up on a gray morning in the first week of March, it took him quite a while to realize what had startled him in the first place. It was the sound of waves crashing against a lonely shoreline, unfurled, untamed, and louder than anything Jensen had ever witnessed.

Jumping up and into a pair of jeans, Jensen was still yanking a sweater over his head when he stumbled out through the front door, throat so dry and his heart slowly stuttering to life inside the raw cavern of his aching chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long, college and real life is keeping me busy. But the next chapter is almost done already and hopefully will be up by the end of the week. 
> 
> Meanwhile I want to say thank you to everyone who's supporting me, especially Jess and Kaylee, whose relentless support and enthusiam keep me going. ////grabs you and curls around you//// Thanks, guys. 
> 
> xxx


	6. Chapter 6

Jensen almost tripped over his own feet as he made his way down the slippery path. The wind was still biting cold, the sky tinted in grays and whites, and the air tasted like frost, but the snow had turned to slush throughout the night and when he stumbled onto the wooden panels of the creaking dock, Jensen smelled salt and tang.

Anticipation curling in his chest, he sprinted to the very edge of the pier. He had a hard time containing himself, words threatening to sputter out of his mouth and his heart jamming inside his throat, racing away and fluttering like a tiny bird. He knew his cheeks were flushed bright pink and there was a tingling sensation beneath his skin, spreading from his fingertips down to his toes. Excitement bubbled up in his chest and he was fidgeting nervously, like a kid at its first day at school, when his eyes scanned the horizon for any sign of the merman.

Only there was nothing to see but the steady up and down of the waves and the endless leaden gray of the sea, foaming and gushing against the beach. Seagulls floated high above Jensen, the wind howled in the crags, but there was no trace of Jared, no word, no sign that he had been around earlier. The bay was just as empty as it had been throughout the whole winter and though the layers of ice had thinned and broken open already, the merman remained absent and nothing could stop Jensen's heart from dropping into the icy depths of the ocean.

“You're a fool, Ackles,” the fisherman murmured to himself as he made his way back to the beach, not even bothering to call out for Jared. And he really was a fool for believing that the merman would return to him. Why would he? Jensen had nothing to offer but a tiny cottage at the sea, rough palms and a questionable sense of humor. Compared to Jared he was old, his skin weather-beaten and covered in dark ink, and he was goddamn _human_. People used to call him a hermit and they were probably right, judging from the life Jensen lived. He was no match for the vivid merman, couldn't hold a candle to the dazzling beauty of the kid, not to speak of his inability to breathe underwater and catch a bunch of fish with his bare hands.

Taking a deep breath, Jensen crammed those incapable hands into the pockets of his jeans as he trudged down the beach. The sand was pale and scrunched under his feet with tiny frost crystals, but it was pleasant to walk on and the frigid air helped clearing the fisherman's spinning mind. It kept him grounded, reminded him of what he had lived for before Jared had become a pleasant intruder on his privacy, and he welcomed the sharp, salty breeze and the cold water sloshing around his boots.

He had been wandering around aimlessly for about twenty minutes when the far crags came in sight, marking the outer rim of the bay area. They were rusty-brown, with sharp angles and edges washed soft by the relentless tide. Their surface was covered in soggy seaweed and swampy green moss, deadwood floating between the rocks. Jensen remembered spending every summer of his childhood here, hiding between the cool stone and playing with the flotsam. He used to build tiny shelters in the shadow of the cliffs before spending his days bathing naked in the water, collecting shells and pretending to be a scuba diver. He had never gotten bored of the silken feeling of the waves cradling his body and even now the sea never ceased to amaze him, leaving him in awe of its wild, untamed beauty. It was rough at times, but even when the waves roared against the shoreline like ferocious beasts and thunder thrummed between the crags, Jensen felt safe in the ocean's tight embrace.

Climbing a few of the shallow cliffs, Jensen made his way over the slippery stones until he reached the very edge of the line, nothing but the open sea in front of him now, stretching for miles and miles before eventually blurring into the horizon. The fisherman had spent many days in this place, flipping stones, eating his mother's sandwiches, fishing with his tiny self-made rod and playing pirates and cowboys and mermen. He had watched the sunset countless time from here and the memory of the fiery, golden glow in the west brought a small smile to Jensen's lips.

“'S all right old man,” he murmured to himself as he hunkered down for a moment to watch the shallow waters before he decided to return to his little cottage. He hadn't been prepared for a march like that, thus his clothing wasn't exactly appropriate. His jeans had gone stiff in the breeze and the sweater was clammy from the mist, clinging to Jensen's back unpleasantly. The tips of his ears were pink from the cold and with a quiet grunt he headed back to the beach, taking off in the direction he had been coming from.

His tracks were still clearly visible in the wet sand and Jensen watched his foot prints as he trudged forward, eyes glued to the ground and nose buried in the collar of his sweater. Listening to his own, lazy heartbeat, it took him a while to notice a small voice calling out for him from the waters and he needed another ten seconds to spot a glimpse of chestnut and silver in the waves, bobbing up and down with the tide.

“Jared,” he breathed as soon as his brain had caught up with his eyes and the next second he was running towards the merman, biting cold water and inappropriate footwear forgotten.

Water sloshed around Jensen when he jumped into the waves, sputtered up and soaked his jeans and sweater, his muscles aching under the pure onslaught of the cold. Tiny spikes of ice got caught in the fabric of his clothes as he made his way into the sea, the frost eating away at his skin, its bite sharp and painful. But Jensen didn't stop, just like what felt like half a life away in November when they had to bid their goodbyes, and he was trembling when he reached the merman. His breathing came in ragged gasps and cold sweat mingled with the icy water gurgling around his waist.

But none of that mattered to Jensen as he tumbled into the merman with a sob, arms flying up to curl around Jared's muscled back.

“Jared,” he murmured against a patch of smooth, golden skin and he was only dimly aware of the merman's reaction when he tentatively returned the stormy embrace. “I thought you were getting tired of me. I thought you didn't want to be around anymore. I... god Jay, how are you?”

Cooing softly, Jared pushed his wet face into the crook of Jensen's neck before tracing his cool lips along the fisherman's jawline, eyes fluttered shut in utter contentment. He was lighter than Jensen remembered him, his waist slimmer and the silken strands of his hair a little longer. But other than that he was still _his_ Jared: vivid, tender and stupefying in his otherworldly beauty.

Taking a deep inhale, Jensen nuzzled his nose into the merman's drenched hair in an attempt to get impossibly closer, smelling salt and tang in the soft strands. “I missed you so much, I thought I was going to go insane.”

“I know,”Jared replied in a puff of cool breath against Jensen's jaw, his arms securely wrapped around the fisherman's waist right where the water was sloshing around them. “I missed you, too, Jensen.”

“I thought you'd grown tired of me and... wait–“ Pulling away from Jared slightly, Jensen managed to lean back until he could watch the merman's face, his gaze skimming over coral red lips and high boned cheeks before getting absorbed in the sea-colored depths of Jared's eyes. “What did you just say?”

There was something close to nervousness on Jared's face when he leaned in with a quiet coo, their foreheads touching ever so gently. “I said I missed you, too, Jensen,” he repeated softly and with only the slightest accent to his voice, every word pointedly correct.

Jensen felt a rush of warmth surging through him and with a quiet sob he gathered the merman into his arms again, pushing their bodies together until there was no space left between them, every inch touching from head to toe and swishy tail.

“You learned my language,” the fisherman whispered into the hard muscles on Jared's shoulders as he held on tightly, shivering in his friend's arms.

“Yes I did,” Jared purred in response, pressing his slightly open mouth against Jensen's jaw again, tracing his lips down to the juncture of Jensen's neck where he rested his face for a moment, his whole body sagging against Jensen's.

“And you came back to see me.”

Nodding, Jared let his fingers trace a lazy circle across the fisherman's back. “You did, too.”

Jensen could feel laughter bubbling up in both his and Jared's chest and the next moment their bodies were shaking with mirth, the corners of their eyes still streaked with moisture but now crinkling with amusement.

“It's so good to see you again, Jay,” Jensen breathed out, not entirely willing to let go. He was still amazed by how perfectly they fit together, their bodies yielding as they clung to each other for a while longer until Jensen winced at the sudden realization that he was freezing.

Pulling back, Jared let his gaze drop to where the frigid water drenched Jensen's clothing. “Jensen, you need to leave. Get out of the water. Too cold for you. You're shaking.”

“Yeah, I guess you're right,” Jensen agreed solemnly, inspecting his stiff fingertips as they rested against Jared's golden skin. “Didn't even notice.”

But he did now and his body was shaking with the realization, his lips starting to fade into an unhealthy blue with each passing second. His toes felt numb, as did his thighs, and suddenly the saying ' _freeze your balls off_ ' started to make sense to him.

Sighing quietly, Jared untangled himself from the fisherman. “Go,” he murmured with a small smile playing around his lips. “I'll be back tomorrow. Have to find food first.”

For a second Jensen was inclined to protest. He had so many questions, so many things burning under his nails and the loss of Jared's touch felt already like an unnecessarily cruel punishment. His heart had just begun to fall into a stuttering rhythm again and he wasn't ready to let go just yet. But a slight swell of the tide brought more ice-sprinkled waves into the bay and Jensen felt the cold striking him to the very core.

“Okay, Jay,” he agreed after a few beats of silence. “I... are you sure you–“

“I will come back, Jensen. I promise,” Jared reassured, pulling Jensen's hand up to press it against his own cheek. “Now go.” He nuzzled the fisherman's rough and wet palm gently, kissed the salt-drenched skin with soft, hesitant lips before moving his tail swiftly. He was out of reach within the blink of an eye and Jensen had barely enough time to yell a breathless “See you tomorrow,” before Jared's head submerged into the waves and was gone in a flash of silver and purple.

Trudging back through the water had never been so painful before and Jensen felt a few tears of relief wash down his cheeks when he reached the beach. He barely made it back up to his house and into the shower before having to sit down for a long, long while, legs frozen blue, fingers prickling and his lips quivering with the pathetic sobs he painstakingly managed to hold back.

 ♦ 

The next day was a Friday and Jensen had to call in sick. Waking up with his head pounding and his teeth still chattering, he barely made it to the phone and was coughing all the way through the conversation. His nose never stopped running, not even when he pushed bits of tissue in his nostrils, and a look in the mirror told Jensen everything he needed to know: flushed cheeks, the tip of his nose tinged pink, eyes bright and skin so pale it competed with the whitewash. Apparently icy cold water didn't do his constitution any good, go figure.

Two mugs of tea and a box of chocolate chip cookies later, Jensen slowly started to feel better. A pale sun stood over the bay and even though the temperatures were still anything but pleasant, Jensen smiled as he got to his feet and upstairs to pull out some proper clothing. This time he wouldn't come unprepared.

Wrapped in a pair of long boxers and snow-pants, a long-sleeved shirt, a sweater and with three pairs of thick, woolen socks on his feet, he made sure to double-check that his boots were watertight before putting them on. Topped by a thick jacket, a pair of warm gloves and his beloved beanie, Jensen was almost ready to go. Grabbing the thermos filled with honeyed tea, an old woolen blanket and his scarf from the kitchen counter, he took a last look at his all bundled-up self in the hallway mirror before he left the house with a shrug, greedily inhaling the fresh winter air.

He didn't have to wait too long and was just about get comfortable on the blanket he had spread over the cold, wet planks, when Jared popped his head out of the quietly murmuring waves. More ice had melted since yesterday and the bay was almost clear of snow, only the sand shimmering with a last trace of frost.

“Heya Jay,” Jensen greeted as soon as he saw the merman emerge in a swirl of wet hair and tan skin. His cheeks were slightly flushed like he had been hurrying to come and see Jensen, and his chestnut mane was peppered with pieces of shells and water plants.

“Hello Jensen,” the merman replied with a smile, dimples popping as he came closer with a lazy swish of his tail until he could rest his forearms on the dock's wooden planks. “How are you?”

His words still sounded a little bit stilted, but he was doing incredible since last year and Jensen found himself gaping for a moment before he curled his lips into a slight smile.

“Doing okay, buddy. I'm a little sick, but it's nothing to worry about. I've had worse,” he replied dutifully, wrapping the blanked around his ankles. “How about you?”

Jared seemed to consider Jensen's words for a moment, his eyes scanning the slightly red tip of the man's nose and his fever-flushed cheeks and when he replied he sounded wary and concerned. “Is it because you were in the water with me?”

“Nah, buddy. It's because it's only spring and humans tend to get sick during the wet seasons. Can you get sick?”

Cocking his head, Jared took his time answering while he continued to worry his lower lip between his teeth until it was all red and swollen. “Not like humans,” he replied eventually. “Not like Jensen. If the sea is sick, we get sick, too. Me and ocean are one. Connected.”

“Like the fish?”

Jensen watched Jared's nose wrinkle, his brows furrowing in disapproval. “I'm no fish, Jen. We're not like them. Fish are good, but not... clever. Don't know how to survive. They're not careful. We are, and that's why we get old. Older than fish and humans.”

Drawing a shuddering breath, Jensen inched a little closer to the merman. “How old are you, Jared?”

“Not easy to say. We don't... count like you do. Age differently, not so fast. You are only children for a while before growing up. We are children for a long time.”

“How long?”

Jared's eyes flickered towards the horizon and he seemed to count silently, his brows still furrowed in concentration. He looked beautiful, disheveled and focused, his bottom lip plush from being sucked on.

“Forty years?”

Jensen almost toppled over. “Forty years?” he gasped in surprise. “That's pretty fucking long, holy shit.”

A small smile appeared on Jared's face as the steep crease between his eyes smoothed out. “I told you we get old.”

“Fair enough.” Jensen replied, still reeling from the revelation and returning Jared's tentative smile. “And how long has it been since you were a child? I mean, you're not a kid anymore, am I right?”

Shaking his head rigorously, Jared sent a few drops of cold salt-water splashing against Jensen's heated cheeks. “No, I'm mature. I'm not kid for a long time now.”

“How long?”

Jared's smile was smug and all dimples and sunshine when he lifted his hand to gesture a full five. “Fifty years.”

Jensen could feel his stomach performing a perfect somersault, his eyes going so wide they threatened to pop out of their sockets. “You gotta be kidding me, Jay. How old are you exactly?”

“I will be ninety-three years old later this year,” the merman replied, smile still in place and hazel eyes sputtering with mirth.

“That's... wow. I mean... _wow_. I think I'll need a moment to get over this. You just blew my mind,” Jensen gasped, heart jumping in his chest and lips shaped into a perfect O.

He did, in fact, need some time to digest the information Jared had just provided him with and he used it wisely by pouring himself a cup of the hot tea he had brought in the thermos, blowing it gently before taking a first tentative sip. They sat in silence for quite a while as they watched the lazy tide chase the remaining pieces of thin ice out of the bay and into the open sea. The breeze was sharp but not unpleasant and Jensen found himself surprisingly comfortable, tucked into three layers of clothing and wrapped into the old fleece blanket he had brought. The cold he had caught the other day didn't seem to mind some fresh air and after finishing the tea off, Jensen felt warm and ready for another round of merman trivia.

“So,” he asked lightly into the silence, drawing Jared's attention. “You keep using the word ' _we_ ' when talking about you, so I guess I'm not entirely wrong when assuming you're not the only merman down there?”

Jared had kept quiet throughout their little break, his body floating lightly right beneath the surface of the leaden gray sea, his tail moving along the waves lazily. Now he was shifting uneasily and the wary expression returned to his face. He looked so uncomfortable it made Jensen want to run away and with a smile he interrupted the merman before he had even begun to talk.

“'S okay if you don't wanna talk about it, Jay. No hard feelings, really. You have your secrets, I have– well, to be honest I don't have any secrets but that's because I'm a boring white dude with no life.”

The hint of a smile played around Jared's lips though his eyes stayed troubled as he replied. “I don't want to have se-crets, but we have rules. They're important. I want to talk to Jensen, but I can't.”

Jared's voice shook a little at that and Jensen couldn't help but reach out to tuck a stray strand of wet chestnut hair behind the merman's ear, the tips of his finger's brushing Jared's cheeks gently.

“It's fine, Jay. I don't wanna get you trouble,” he murmured and really meant it, being already incredibly grateful for even the tiniest piece of information he could gather other than from reading in front of his laptop night after night.

The merman let his breath out in a rush at that and his shoulders sagged, tension bleeding out of him immediately as he relaxed against the dock. “Good. Thank you, Jen.”

“Is there anything you _can_ tell me, though?” Jensen asked tentatively after a few beats of companionable silence.

A bunch of seagulls, startled by a sudden turn of the wind, rose above their heads where they croaked and protested loudly. Jensen watched them for a moment before bringing his attention back to Jared, who was studying him with a shy smile curling his lips.

“I have gills,” the merman said quietly as he slowly cocked his head. “Like fish, you would say.” Brushing his wild hair away, he revealed four tiny slits right behind his ear, running down the long, slender expanse of his neck.

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Jensen nodded. “I noticed,” he replied dryly while he tried to convince his itching fingertips that there was no need to reach out to touch the finger-long, slightly curved slits with the pink tinged edges.

“I'm a good hunter. I can catch many fish.” Jared continued not without a hitch of pride in his voice. “But I don't like fish.”

“What do you eat instead? You guys eat, right?”

Throwing his head back to release a booming laugh, Jared allowed Jensen a moment to revel in the new, pleasant sound before the merman turned serious again.

“Yes, we eat. Lots of things. Fish mostly. But I like clam. And... and.... I don't know the name. It's–“ At a sudden loss of words, the merman cut himself off in favor of lifting both hands to form claws, making a snapping movement.

Now it was Jensen's turn to laugh, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement. “You mean a crab?”

“Yes, crab. Dangerous and good.”

Still laughing, Jensen nodded his agreement as he waited for the merman to continue. It felt so good sitting on the docks with Jared close by, their voices mingling in the stiff breeze as words got carried out on the waters.

“I can read,” Jared said after a while, the tips of his ears turning pink like he just said something embarrassing. “Learned by myself. From books I found on the beach.”

Jensen gasped. “Jared, that's amazing. That's how you learned how to talk like humans right? Wow, that's pretty impressive.”

The shade of pink was now wandering from the merman's ears to his cheeks, turning into an adorable blush. One Jensen wanted to kiss frantically.

“You think?” Jared asked, voice small and timid.

Jensen snorted. “You bet I do, Jay. I could've never done that, believe me. I almost bit my tongue when I tried to learn how to speak like you do. It was a catastrophe, I'm not–“

“You wanted to learn my language?” Jared cut in abruptly, jerking his head around to study Jensen's face.

“Yeah, I, um, kinda... tried?”

There was a soft fondness swirling in the hazel depths of Jared's eyes, warmth mingling with the myriad of impossible colors. “Thank you, Jensen,” he sighed and briefly brushed his cool, smooth palm over the back of Jensen's hand, their fingers yielding against each other.

“'S okay, no big deal,” Jensen managed to stammer in return and was grateful when Jared continued to talk while the moment's fragile softness lingered a while longer.

“I like to watch your people do things. Hunt fish with nets and hooks, swim, sunbathe at the beaches. You so different. You build things to float on the water.”

Jensen huffed out a tiny laugh. “It must look so silly to you, right? All those boats and air mattresses and plastic flippers?”

“It's interesting and funny how you use them, always working against the water and not with it. Makes me laugh. But I like watching how you craft things. And what you eat.”

Jensen nodded at that, not too sure what to say until an idea popped up in his head. “Do you wanna try some human food? I have some cookies I'm sure you'd like. You don't have that, right? Only fish.”

With eyes wide and his cheeks flushing pink in excitement, Jared managed to choke out a “yes, please” between frantic nods of his head and Jensen was up on his feet in no time, promising to be back in a second before scrambling up the path to his cottage.

He returned a few minutes later with a box of chocolate chip cookies and a cupcake with heavy vanilla butter and a creamy chocolate frosting. Putting both down on the planks, he sat down again before curling into the faint warmth of the blanket. Jared was still hovering close, biting his lips in anticipation and drumming his fingers against the salt-drenched wood of the dock.

“I'm sorry, that's all I got. I, um... I should have gotten groceries days ago but... um, didn't feel like it,” Jensen explained with a slight stutter to his words as he pointed at the goods he'd brought.

Eyeing the sweets curiously, Jared sniffed the air. “It smells funny. Different. Sweet like the water coming from the mainland.” And before Jensen was even able to process the words, the merman pulled himself out of the water and came to sit right next to Jensen with a wet splash, soaking the blanket with salt-water as he wiggled into a comfortable position.

“Yeah, it's nothing like... crab or fish,” Jensen replied, still gaping at the merman, enraptured by his smooth movements and the tantalizing play of muscles bunching beneath cool, golden skin. It took him a few beats to process the sudden closeness, their shoulders almost touching and Jensen's knee only mere inches apart from the dazzling silvery surface of Jared's tail, every scale glinting in the faint sunlight.

They had been this close before, when Jensen was carrying Jared out of the storage room and into freedom, when Jared dragged Jensen through the cold, when they said goodbye, when they fell into each other's arms only yesterday, and still right in this moment, it felt like a whole new level of intimacy and trust to Jensen. After months of feeling sick in his own skin and craving what he thought was lost in the waves, he finally felt right again, and with a shuddering sigh, Jensen relished the moment, getting lost for a few seconds in the closeness until Jared spoke quietly.

“What is that?” he asked, pointing at the cookies on the pier. Jensen wasn't one for sweets but these ones he liked and with a smile he grabbed the cardboard box to show it to the merman.

“It's my favorite kind of cookies. With chocolate chips. Have you ever had chocolate?”

Shaking his head gently, Jared's eyes were glued to the colorful box and the insides that smelled so wondrous and sweet to him.

Jensen chuckled. “Then it's about time,” he decided as he fished a cookie out of the package before offering it to Jared with a bright smile.

The merman took his time inspecting the piece, taking in its shape and form, counting the chocolate-brown dots and even sniffing around Jensen's fingers before he dared to take it in his own, wet hand just to stare at it even harder.

“It's not gonna jump into your mouth on its own, you know,” Jensen teased after Jared kept staring down at the cookie. “You gotta take a bite if you wanna know what the fuss is all about!”

The excited look on Jared's face faltered a little bit at the notion and for a split second he seemed wary again, skeptical and disapproving of the foreign thing in his palm. But curiosity took over eventually and slowly he brought the cookie to his lips, his pink tongue darting out to lick a stripe across the chocolate surface, tasting cautiously.

“And? What do you think?” Jensen asked into the deafening silence. “Worth a full bite?”

Jared's eyes, big and beautiful and framed by thick lashes, sparked with pleasure as he looked up, a soft coo forming in the back of his throat. “Yeah,” he agreed breathily, moaning sweetly as he dug into the sweet cookie and Jensen couldn't help but stare while Jared devoured the treat with eyes fluttered shut and an expression of pure bliss on his face.

After handing Jared another one, Jensen continued to watch the merman eat, Jared's tongue poking out every so often to gather the sweet crumbs from the seam of his pink lips. Purring noises were falling from his mouth and he seemed entirely content to sit here for the rest of their lives, stuffing his face with average-prized supermarket cookies and Jensen next to him.

“So sweet,” he slurred after he'd finished off his third cookie, his eyes popping open to meet Jensen's gaze. “Even more sweet than they smell. I love the chocolate; reminds me of kissing you.”

Jensen could feel his eyebrows rising towards the hem of his beanie and he choked on his tea, almost coughing the hot beverage into Jared's shyly grinning face. “What?”

The merman nodded. “Chocolate. Your lips taste like chocolate to me, too. I like that a lot.”

“But we never kissed, Jay, I mean... um, not yet... you know?”

The look on Jared's face changed from delighted to scowling, his wet, shiny lips pouting. “Yes, we did. When you had no air and I breathed through my gills. Your lips were on mine, that's kissing.”

Jensen couldn't help the small, breathy laugh that escaped his lips at that. Jared was so full of wonder and innocence it made the man's heart stutter in his chest. “Yeah well, if you say so,” he replied as he grabbed the cupcake to offer it to Jared. “Wanna give that one a go?”

The noises Jared made while digging into the little cake were downright filthy and had nothing to do with his sweet, innocent words from only seconds ago. Soft, quiet sighs turned into small whimpers and soon he was moaning around a mouthful of vanilla cake, cooing and purring in his throat, making Jensen flush with arousal and his cock stir beneath the layers of fabric.

“So good,” Jared wheezed as he licked the last crumbs from his long fingers, the taste plucking another string of moans from his chest.

“Better than crab?”

The merman nodded, eyes flying up to meet Jensen's gaze briefly. “Better than crab, not better than kissing Jensen,” he murmured before ducking his head and sliding from the planks. Slipping into the cold, cold water and out of Jensen's reach within the blink of an eye, Jared swam a lazy trail around the wooden posts that held the dock upright before he settled in front of the fisherman again.

“Thank you, Jen,” he cooed softly, propping up his chin on his crossed arms. His cheeks were still tinged pink, his lips swollen and slick and Jensen took in a deep breath before willing himself to reply.

“You're welcome, Jay,” he murmured and really meant it, smiled before he laid down on the dock, curling into the blanket where he relished warmth and the feeling of Jared right beside him.

Pleasant silence settled over them and together they watched the sky and the sea, listened to the seagulls fighting over bits of fish, stared at the horizon and each other until Jensen felt the cold creep up on him. They waved each other goodbye with their hearts so heavy in their chests and the promise of seeing each other again tomorrow in their pockets.

 ♦ 

They spent the rest of the week just like that: down at the docks, Jensen tucked into a blanket and Jared floating close by. Two times Jensen brought more cookies and two times Jared inhaled them with the most blissful expression on his face. The weather got better, then worse, and on Thursday when they decided to go for a walk along the beach, cool rain started to fall.

It kept raining on and off for two days and on Saturday the first storm of this year's spring made its appearance, chasing thunder and lighting around Jensen's cottage as the fisherman sat on his sofa, moping and cursing the weather that kept him locked inside and away from his friend.

But March and April had always been the most unpleasant months of the year as long as Jensen could remember and as it turned out they didn't plan on changing their reputation this year. Rain turned into slush again, turned into more stormy weather, turned into hail and thunderstorms fueled by lightning and howling rain. Daylight continued to be gray whenever Jensen made his way to the docks to see Jared and the mist seemed to become thicker and thicker every day, heavy banks of white cotton wool nesting above the water and between the crags.

Work was awfully boring, even more so if Jensen considered all the time he could be spending with Jared instead of guarding ancient paintings at night or delivering greasy pizzas to lazy people all across the town. But there were bills waiting to be paid and when finally, after sheer endless weeks of waking every morning to the constant sound of rain on the house's roof, the sun came up in the middle of May, Jensen almost cried out in relief.

Finally summer was about to begin and with it Jensen's most beloved season. And it was going to be even more fun with a merman around, especially with one who was dying to show Jensen the murky blue depths of the ocean.

**Author's Note:**

> My next big multi chapter work. I'm so excited about writing it, you guys don't even know. I'm gonna add tags and characters as the story goes on. UwU 
> 
> Beta'd by [Jess](http://wincechesters.tumblr.com/) as per usual. ////clings to her///////////


End file.
